


We Were Your Home

by The_Sa1tiest_CarameL



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alexis | Quackity Being a Jerk, Alternate Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Bad Ending, Big Brother Technoblade, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, Blood and Violence, But mostly angst, Clay | Dream & Technoblade Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Manipulation, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I chose this hill and i WILL die on it, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It's the best fight me, Manipulation, Men Crying, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, No Beta We Die Like Endermen, Pollá this is all your fault, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Technoblade, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Running Away, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Soft Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Team as Family, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Therapy, While I'm at it, anyway, boys crying, but like if your therapist is a duck with a personal grudge against you, but specifically Dream and Techno, don't you hate it when you put too many custom tags so Ao3 ends up having a seizure, dream is very sad, everyone is crying, family but if family gets into fistfights sometimes, favoritism?? what's that??, gUeSs wHo LeArNeD hOw tO tAg???, it's complicated - Freeform, it's ok I'm totally not mad or anything, listen he latches on to people that have lots of issues, listen i love their dynamic so much, lol new readers must be so confused, lookin at you Pollá, mental manipulation, screeching our lungs out, someone plz give dream a hug, then when they disappear he goes into feral piglin instinct mode, there's lots of manipulation in this fic, ugh now i need to redo all of these, wow there's a TAG for that???, yeah i know it's such a shocker, yeah no your not getting out of this alive, yo I'm like terrified, you shall learn in due time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28795797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sa1tiest_CarameL/pseuds/The_Sa1tiest_CarameL
Summary: Dream knows of all the suffering he's caused his family, and he feels really bad for it.It wasn't always this way.After weeks and weeks of fighting with the storms inside his head, it all becomes too much.Thinking he's too far gone and too broken for any chance of redemption, Dream comes up with a plan.He doesn't want anyone's last memories of him to be sour or filled with malice. He doesn't want to be sealed in the history pages as someone who lived a tyrant, someone who died a tyrant. So, he tries his best to repair the relationships he's broken.Then, he leaves. However, his friends aren't too far behind.(yo what's up it's me CarameL, ready to post my trash on this cursed site 🙂👍)
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Clay | Dream, Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream, Clay | Dream & Clay | Dream's Sister Drista (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Luke | Punz, Clay | Dream & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sam | Awesamdude, Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone, No Romantic Relationship(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 761
Kudos: 2146
Collections: Dreamwastaken Angst/Other Dream-centric fanfics





	1. Prologue: It wasn't always this way

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! I really hope you enjoy whatever the heck this is, please have a seat! Maybe a snack? 🍿

_"I WANNA SEE A WHITE FLAG! WHITE FLAG, OUTSIDE YOUR BASE, BY TOMORROW, AT DAWN, OR YOU'RE **DEAD!**_ _"_

_"I've only ever cared about the discs, Tommy."_

_"What do you think gives you your power?"_

_"Just say you **h** **ate** me"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream knows of all the violence he's instigated, all the chaos he's forced upon his friends. 

_(Can he even call them his friends anymore?)_

It wasn't always this way. ~~**He wasn't always this way.**~~

_('Maybe', a deep, taunting part of him whispers, 'maybe he was. Maybe he was always a terrible person, the **incident** just sped up the process.')_

He remembers a time long ago, before the war, before L'manburg, before DSMP, even before the construction of the community house with George, when he had gazed over his newly generated server with pride. It was _his server_.

From his perch on the ledge of a cliff, Dream could see for miles and miles ahead of him. He could see the lush, rolling hills of green plains and clusters of flower fields that looked as if they came straight out of a painting. He could see the soft, warm glow of the setting sun splashing the sky with colors of cherry blossoms and tangerines, spiraling together in a display of ethereal proportions for him to enjoy.

His bones were aching for adventure, for discovery, they longed for the wind to whip through his silky bronze locks, for the jolt of adrenaline zipping through his nerves, it was what kept him sane. He was sure that his friends would feel the same way.

Soon, these peaceful flatlands and quiet forests would be humming with life, with the laughter of his longtime friends and the shouting and hollering of Tommy and his family.

_Their family._

They would build great things in these lands, cities with shops and bakeries for all to enjoy, monuments that would reach to the heavens and caress the stars above. They'd build quaint towns and neighborhoods and gardens so that their ever-expanding family would always be able to be together, as a whole. 

Soon, the tranquility and silence of the tundras would be replaced with sturdy wooded cabins and the clanging of swords as Dream and Techno sparred in their inevetable makeshift arena, everyone they knew gathering around and spectating the show, placing bets on who would win that day.

But before the sparring, before the gardens and neighborhoods and towns, before monuments that would dazzle the realms, Dream wanted to to something first.

He wanted to beat the Enderdragon. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_'I- I did it, I actually did it!'_

_Dream was ecstatic as the dragon ascended into the sky(?) before bursting into an explosion of color._

_The trek to the End was hard, and Dream almost gave up a couple times, but now it all seemed worth it to be able to see the strange dimension for himself, to slay the dragon his own axe and bow. He felt a little bad killing her, but the great sense of accomplishment he felt quickly overtook what little guilt he harbored in his heart._

_As the portal back to the overworld opened, and the dragon was nothing more than a cluster of particles in the sky, Dream was just about to collect his experience and leave when a sudden wave of fatigue hit him and he fell forward._

_'W-wait, what's happening? What's going on-'_

_Now on his knees from the pain, Dream could barely bring himself to look up and see the remaining particles of the dragon spiral into the air before shooting downwards straight towards-_

**_Straight towards him._ **

_Dream had little time to react before the particles reached their destination and he fell unconscious on impact, only faintly feeling a burning sensation on his left eye before the world went black._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

**It wasn't always this way.**

Now, 4 years after his experience, Dream dons a mask with a child-like smiley face etched onto the front, and is feared or hated by all the people he swore he would protect. 

**It was never _supposed_** to **be this way.**

He can never stand to look at a reflective surface anymore, for all he can ever see is his failure as a warrior, his failure as a protector. His failure as a friend.

His failure as a part of a _family, his family._

Self-hatred churns in his gut, knocking the wind out of his lungs. It burns his bones, making his knuckles sting and bleed _(or is that just the trees he punches?)._ It taints his conscience, poisoning his mind with hallucinations of a permanent stain of blood on his hands and whispering taunts of depreciation and belittlement. 

_'They'd never forgive you'_

_'You're too far gone'_

_'They don't love you anymore'_

_'You're horrible'_

_'You're retched'_

_'They'd all be better off if you just left'_

_'Just leave'_

_'Just leave'_

**_'JUST LEAVE'_ **

Laying in bed one night(or morning, Dream's sleep schedule had been nonexistent for a while now), Dream came up with an idea. A foolproof solution to all his problems, a way of escape from the constant weight of the sins on his shoulders. 

However, he didn't want anyone to have negative recollections of him when he was gone. He hated, _hated_ the thought of everyone's last memories of him being George's dethroning, or his outbursts to all of them, or the destroying of their homes, or Tommy's exile. He didn't want that. 

So what was a better way to say farewell than to try to patch up some of the relationships he's damaged over the last few months, in favor of a fresh new start?

Yeah, that- that sounds nice. 

_('But', another cold, unforgiving voice sneered- 'it'll never be enough. You've caused too much, done too much, said too much. No matter how hard you try, I bet that when it's all said and done, they'll be relieved that you're gone, that they won't have to fear you anymore, that you'll never come back.')_

Shooing away the intrusive yet very worrisome thoughts clouding his mind, Dream laid back into the sheets of his rather lonely bed, missing when Tommy would sneak in and pile on top of him, or when Techno would slink in and wrap his arms around Dream's frame protectively, having woken up from another nightmare. 

Dream never said anything about it, though. 

He missed the comfort, the grounding reassurance that he wasn't alone.

Tomorrow would be a new day though, a new start for him. The beginning of a new chapter in the copper-haired warrior's story. 

And for the first time in months, Dream wasn't plagued with memories of a raging inferno or the screams of his now shattered family. 

For the first time in months, Dream was at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If this flops imma just sit in my corner of despair and cry-"
> 
> -CarameL 2021


	2. To sisters,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance for your heart, here, have a cupcake for your troubles- 🧁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life-changing field trip number 1!

_"Claaay, hurry up! You're so **slowww-**_ _"_

_"Well I'm sure I could go faster if you weren't on my back-"_

_"Are you calling me fat?!"_

_"Perhaps"_

_"Oh you tall fu-"_

_"Whoa whoa whoa, who taught you that word?"_

_"My friend Alex"_

_"...y'know what, nevermind, we're turning right back around so I can beat the little fart who tainted my sister-"_

_"Waitwaitwait Clay no stop running wait no Clay cLAY PUT DOWN THE SWORD-"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream woke up to the sound of purring. Sitting up, he looked down at his lap to see his cat patches curled up there, happy and content. 

Smiling, Dream carefully moved her before getting up and stretching his arms. Today was the start of his farewell. At first, he was just gonna head straight to L'manburg, but now he realizes that there was one stop he needed to get to first. It was a pretty long trip, but he knew it would be worth it. This... all of this would be worth it.

It had to.

Standing straight, Dream hastily changed into his signature lime hoodie and put on some work pants as well as some netherite combat boots. He then went to his front door and was greeted with-

His mask.

The mask he had donned only a week after the incident, the mask that had hurt so many people, the mask that was never known for anything other than violence and bloodshed.

~~_"CLAY! LOOK OUT!!"_ ~~

~~_"Wha-"_ ~~

~~**_BOOM_ ** ~~

"No, nonononono, not now, not yet-"

Dream furiously scrubbed at his eyes, desperate to stop the tears threatening to fall spill from them. He would have time to cry later; he had a long road ahead of him.

Turning his gaze back to the once comforting porcelain mask _(now it just made him queasy)_ , Dream decided to wear something else over his face instead. So, he ripped off a piece of fabric from one of his black t-shirts and enchanted it so that he could see before tying the cloth around his head. Eh, it would have to do.

Walking out the front door, he turned to look at his house one more time. Patches would eventually follow him to the stronghold, he didn't doubt that, but Dream didn't really mind. It would be nice to have some form of company in the End. 

Ah, yes. His plan.

You see, Dream knew that just leaving and hiding out somewhere in the overworld wouldn't cut it. His family may not love him anymore, but they'd probably still hunt him down for a chance at revenge or an explanation. Both of which didn't sound very appealing to the warrior, he didn't need any confrontation right now. His solution?

To go live in the End, the place he had banned the entire server from, the place no one would think to check until it was far too late. It was perfect. And, it was technically his home, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Waking up with a groan, Dream realized that he wasn't in the End anymore. He was back in the overworld with a massive headache and a pile of enderpearls right next to him._

_He got his bearings and then tried to comprehend how he got back to the overworld._

_'Ok...think Dream, think! What happened after I won...?'_

_Dream remembered defeating the dragon and going to collect his reward and then leave when he got a massive headache and fell on his knees, then the particles came barreling towards him the he was in so much pain then he hurt his eye and then-_

_"Clay! There you are! Do you have **any** idea as to how long I spent looking for you?! You're lucky I'm a good sister or else I'd just stop searching and leave you here to die and-"_

_Clay interrupted his sister by pulling her into a hug and sobbing into her chest, her mood instantly shifting from annoyed to worried._

_"Oh Notch...what even happened while you were gone?"_

_"Th-there was this b-bright stream of s-sparkles and they- they just shot towards me a-and I think it h-hurt my eye- "_

_Ok, calm down, you're fine, I'm here, now you said that you think the particles hurt your eye? Let me see..."_

_Upon closer examination, one could see that there was, in fact, something different about Clay's left eye. Instead of the bright, emerald hue that was identical to his sister's, it was a piercing violet shade, the color spreading to cover the whites of his eye was well._

_"Er, i-it doesn't look too bad... it's just... unique! Special! One of a kind, perfect for my big brother!_

_Clay sniffled a little before smiling at his sister and letting a giggle escape his mouth._

_"If you say so... I believe you, Drista."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a few hours of getting lost and stopping to take a couple breaks, but finally, finally, Dream made it to his first destination. 

The lake was hidden in a small, cavernous structure, the only safe entrance to the inside being a barely noticeable opening covered in hanging vines. Stepping through, Dream gazed at the sight before him. 

There was a waterfall flowing gracefully down the ledge of an overhang in the rock, spewing crystalline water into the lagoon below. The walls of the cove were covered in vines, most of which had grown blossoming flowers of all types and colors, splattering them in a rainbow of peaches, nectarines and cranberry. There was a rock on an island in the very middle of the cove, and in front of it and old, weathered but still sturdy bridge, with vines entangling themselves into the wood.

Dream leisurely made his way over to the rock, casting occasional glances over to the fish chasing eachother through the water and making the surface ripple. Here, Dream could look at his reflection with less shame.

When Dream got to the tiny island in the middle of the lake, he brushed his hand over a small engraving etched sloppily into the stone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Whoaaa, Clay. Look at this place! It's completely encased in rock! You see, if I hadn't tripped through those vines, we would've never found this place. You're welcome, I'm awesome."_

_"Yeah, good job making your clumsiness useful for once."_

_"Shhh. You're ruining the moment, per usual."_

_"Whatever makes you feel better..."_

_Drista rolled her eyes at her brother, who just smirked in return. She then directed her gaze towards the middle of their newfound hideout, where there was an isolated piece of land with a rock on it. Drista then turned to Clay with a cheeky smile on her face._

_"Hey Clay, you see that little island over there in the middle of the lagoon?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"D'you think that we can build a bridge to get over there? I wanna do something with that rock."_

_"Don't you mean **I'm** gonna be the one doing the building while you just play around with the parrots?"_

_"Yes that's exactly what I mean."_

_Uuuuuugh, ok fine... just don't wander off too far, okay?_

_"Ok **mOm-** "_

_"You're insufferable."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_**'Property of the amazing Drista and her almost as amazing brother Clay♡'** _

Dream smiled a little, letting a few tears slip from his eyes. Hand trembling, be pulled it away from the stone and walked over to the farthest end of the cove, where there was an entrance to a large dropoff into the ocean. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Whoa, this lagoon has **everything**! Look, it even has it's own built-in balcony!" _

_"I can see that, now get away from the very edge, you're making me nervous."_

_"You're just paranoid-"_

_"I'm your *big* brother! It's my job!"_

_"Okok fiiiine, you're such a wet bed-"_

_Clay walked over the the ledge and gazed at the setting sun while Drista was exploring around somewhere else. That is, until she heard it._

**_'ssss...'_ **

_Drista whipped her head around to see a creeper right behind Clay, ready to explode._

_"CLAY! **LOOK OUT-!!"**_

_"Wha-"_

**_BOOM_ **

**_splash_ **

...

......

........

**_"DRISTA!!!!"_ **

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the middle of the dropoff, there was another small stone with flowers and an engraving on it.

_**'In memory of Drista, the best sister I could've ever asked for.'** _

And there, alone on the cliff with no company except the warm glow of the setting sun, Dream wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...did you cry?


	3. To mothers,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream visits someone who definitely deserved more than what he had given her. Get ready for crying and lots of flour-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this compensation enough for last chapter? Y'all were pretty sad

_"P-puffy, why does it hurt so m-much?"_

_The sheep hybrid gazed at Dream, eyes glazed over with pity and heart shattered. He had been through so much, too much, and it broke her heart that he had to go through most of it alone._

_"I don't know why, duckling. But I'll be here with you every step of the way, I promise."_

_"o-ok..."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After spending the night in the cavern, Dream continued he journey to restore the relationships he's broken. Next stop: Puffy and Niki's bakery.

_("Of course you can open a bakery here! I'm sure that everyone on the server would enjoy some of you and Niki's pastries-")_

Now, Dream would lying if he said he wasn't ~~very~~ a little nervous about this particular stop especially. Throughout all his struggles, throughout all his mistakes, Puffy had been the one to try to help him through it, and he shoved her away. Blocked her out like the rest of his family.

This was going to be difficult.

_("Dream, you've been pushing everyone away lately. You've been pushing **me** away lately. Please, Dream... let me in, I want to help you. Please...")_

_'Maaaybe a bit too difficult,'_ Dream's brain supplied, as he made it to the entrance of the bakery and then proceeded to stand there for a solid ten minutes. However, he didn't have to contemplate for long, as the door suddenly swung open and out came Puffy, bumping right into Dream's chest.

She flinched backwards a little before directing her eyes towards Dream's face, which was when she grabbed a frying pan from out of nowhere and got into a defensive stance, blocking the doorway. 

It reminded him of after...

_(Dream had just yelled at her. He had just screamed at Puffy. He made her turn away crying, she hated him, she thought he was a monster he was a **monster-** )_

"What are you doing here? What do you want?"

What did he want? Truthfully, Dream just wanted to burst into tears right then and there, but he had to at least give an explanation before he had yet another crying session.

"I- I just wanted to a-ask you something..."

_("Hey duckling! Would you like to help me bake?"_

_Dream eyed the glob of dough as if it was going to grow legs and kick him in the face. He turned his gaze to Puffy and sighed,_

_"No, I'm good. I'm really bad at baking pastries, and I don't want to burn down you and Niki's bakery..."_

_"Ok, that's fine! You can just sit down and watch me work while I tell you about my years at sea-")_

The watery tone in his voice caught the sheep hybrid off guard, and she lowered the frying pan to study the part of his face that she could see.

_'Looks like he's been crying... but why would duckli- Dream be crying? Oh great, my mother instinct is kicking in...'_

"And what exactly would that be? You know I'm not one for your sh*tty deals, Dream."

At this point, Dream just couldn't stop the tears from cascading down his face. He hated, _hated_ the wary look in Puffy's eyes, as if he were some wild beast instead of her little duckling. It drove him crazy.

_(Was he a beast? A monster? Good for nothing but to be slain and hung as a trophy?)_

"There's- there's no trick mo- Puffy. Oh Notch, did I really m-mess up that b-badly?? This- this was a bad idea, I-I'm sorry for bothering you-"

As Dream turned to leave, Puffy noticed more tears rolling down his cheeks, and a patch of very familiar lines on his semi-exposed arms. Did he-?

"Wait- wait, Dream come here a sec. As long as you're not planning to kill me _(ouch, Puffy. you could've handled that one better-)_ , I don't mind you being here... Just- _please_ don't push me away-"

And that was all it took for Dream to go barreling into Puffy's arms, sobbing loudly as he lamented to her all the pent-up guilt he had accumulated over the months, all the things he'd done to numb the pain. He spewed out his barely eligible apologies over and over again, begging for forgiveness, or at least a chance to repair what had been broken between them. 

"Shh, shhh.... it's okay, duckling. I'm glad you decided to open up to me, and I'm so proud of you for owning up to your mistakes. 

Dream let out a watery giggle before from where he had tackled Puffy into his embrace and then helped her up as well.

"Now... what was it that you wanted to ask me?"

"O-oh, right... listen this is a little stupid but I just wanted to ask if you could teach me how to bake... you know I was never any good at it when you first arrived."

Puffy just stared at Dream in shock. He actually wanted to bake with her?

Dream quickly got uncomfortable under her gaze and hastily added, "Y-you don't have to if you don't want to!! I... I just wanted to ask..."

"Oh, my silly little duckling... of course I'll teach you! Here, let me get you the proper apron and show you to the kitchen..."

Later, Niki showed up at the bakery, surprised and a little alarmed to see Dream and Puffy making cookies in their kitchen. After some explanation, she ended up joining the duo in attempting to make some cream puffs, which went... interestingly.

"Ok, I just need to get some baking powder from the top shelf... shouldn't be too hard. Now, let me just move this-"

**WHOOSH**

"Uh oh"

**POOF**

...

.....

"....fock."

Dream soon found himself covered from head to toe in all-purpose flour, effectively making a mess of the floor and his clothes. He was just about to clean up his 'little' accident when he heard two very feminine snickers from behind him.

Oh, it is _**on.**_

Puffy was putting her hand over her lips to stop her giggles from escaping her mouth when a ball of white was thrown at her face, leaving her coughing and spluttering. 

She turned to Dream, who just smiled innocently at her.

Niki had lost all sense of composure at this point and was practically gasping for air when another ball of white was thrown at her and she turned to see a very smug looking Puffy.

Oh it is _**so on.**_

Niki grabbed a fistful of flour from who knows where and yeeted it at Puffy who let out a gasp of complete and utter betrayal before getting nailed on this side of the head by Dream, flour clutched in both hands and a competitive grin on his face.

The war has begun.

For hours, the trio screamed and hollered in the once quiet bakery, throwing bundle after bundle of fluffy flour and getting it _everywhere,_ even ending up with a few clusters of it on the ceiling.

_(Dream was a sneaky little cheater and mixed water into some of his flour, making it stick to various surfaces. Niki eventually caught him red-handed and the war was paused for a minute as Puffy scolded him for cheating. However, the sheep hybrid just couldn't keep the dopey smile off if her face as she lectured him. Her little duckling was home.)_

Eventually everyone came to a truce and the war ended, Dream helping Niki and Puffy clean up, which they greatly appreciated.

And if Dream's cheeks hurt from smiling too much after he left and went to sleep for the night, no one needed to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no thoughts, head empty, only mama puffy


	4. To comrades,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream visits the community house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS LISTEN I HATE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH, MY WRITING IS LITERAL WACK-

After spending the night in a cave, Dream decided that his next stop would be the community house, where he'd apologize to his old team of George, Sapnap, and Bad. He knew that of all the people he had hurt, all the friendships he betrayed, this one hurt the people on the recieving end the most. It'd be difficult to get their trust back..

_("But remember-' the voice was back, 'remember that you are not here to gain their full trust again, it's already too late for that. You're just here to have some good memories with them before you leave.')_

Right. Of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Clay stared at the boy in the goggles with a tense expression. Could he trust him?_

_"Hello there! You look a little lost, do you know where you're going?"_

_"I-"_

_DristaDristaDrista protect Drista don't let them get to Drista protectprotect **protect-**_

_"...I'm a wanderer, a nomad. I don't really live in any one place" Clay lied. Well, it was partially true._

_"Oh... ok, that sounds cool! You seem like a nice person, wanna come meet my friends?"_

_"Uh, n-"_

_DRISTADRISTADRISTA TOO CLOSE TO DRISTA PROTECT DRISTA PROTECT-_

_"U-uh, sure... I guess I can stay for the evening, where do you live?"_

_"Oh, I live this way-" the boy pointed to some part of the forest away from where Drista was hiding, and Clay let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "-follow me!"_

_The walk to this boy's house took longer than Clay had expected, which he found relief in. He had kept his sister safe._

_"Aaaand here we are!"_

_Clay turned his gaze from the forest floor to the wooded cottage in front of him. It was pretty small, but still held that homey feeling that made him miss his old home._

_"Oh, by the way, my name's George! What's your name?"_

_"It's-"_

_NO_

_DRISTA THINK OF DRISTA_

_FAKE NAME FAKE NAME FAKE NAME-_

_"it's Dream."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream stared at the house that stood before him. The house that started it all. The house that he helped build with his own bare hands.

_(He wondered if after he left, they'd realize this fact and proceed to burn the community house to the ground, not wanting to have anything to do with the things that he built, things that reminded them of him.)_

This time, he just wanted to get the initial aggression over with. If they just flat out didn't let him explain himself, he'd leave a note at the doorway or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_After meeting the boy in the bandana, who called himself Sapnap(Clay thought it was a weird name but he supposed he couldn't judge, his fake name was Dream after all) the three of them spent the day in the forest together, running around and coming up with games to play. One of the games Dream came up with, called Manhunt, soon became a favorite among the three boys. Of course, Dream never ran too close to where his sister was hidden, but they still had lots of fun._

_In the days that followed, Dream kept coming back to that part of the forest to play with his new friends around their house and was eventually invited inside by an older boy who also lived there named Badboyhalo(he told Dream to just call him by his nickname, which was Bad)._

_The four of them became very good friends, and their games of Manhunt became more intense and exciting. When Clay told Drista of this, she was ecstatic._

_"Wow, my brother actually made friends without having to use my irresistible charm? I'm so proud of y- oW!"_

_"You deserved that."_

_"Pshh. Ok, whatever. Also, Dream? Really?? Out of all the fake names there could be in the world, you chose Dream??"_

_"Look, I was panicking okay??"_

_"You need to work on your social skills"_

_"Why do I even bother..."_

_Months passed by, and the four boys got closer and closer with eachother. At this point, they even considered Dream as a part of their little group._

_That is, until one morning when they had gone to their usual meeting spot and Dream didn't show up. The next morning, instead of a smiling, emerald eyed, dirty blonde boy at their meeting spot, it was a piece of paper._

_Bad picked it up and read it aloud._

**_'Thank you for your kindness and hospitality, you will never know how much I truly appreciate it. While I wish I could stay longer, I have things I need to attend to. I'll come back to you guys soon, I promise. Until we meet again,_ **

**_-Dream♡_ **

**_(Ps, Sapnap please kick George in the shins for me as revenge for throwing me into the river last week)'_ **

_When Bad read that last part, George froze and slowly turned his head towards Sapnap, who had an evil glint in his eyes._

_"Well gogy, you know I can't pass up a request like tHAT-"_

_The brit shrieked at the ravenette lunged at him and chased him through the forest. Bad just let out an exasperated sigh._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sapnap opened the door, he did not at all expect to see Dream with a blindfold around his eyes and a nervous frown on his lips. He groaned before speaking.

"Listen Dream, whatever it is you want me to do for you, I'm not gonna do it. My days of being your little tool are ov-"

_"M'sorry..."_

"I- what? What'd you say? Dream I can't hear you."

**_"M'sorry."_ **

"Dream you're going to have to speak up-"

"LOOK I'M SORRY, OK?! I'M SORRY FOR USING YOU AND OUR FRIENDS AND IM SORRY FOR ALWAYS MESSING EVERYTHING UP, I'M SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO PUT UP WITH MY SH!T FOR SO LONG, I- I-"

Sapnap stood in shock as Dream rambled on about how he was an awful friend for treating him like trash and dethroning George and for not stopping all the conflicts that he had caused when he was able to. He couldn't believe his ears.

Dream's initial shouting had brought George and Bad downstairs almost instantly, appearing with halfhearted fighting stances and tired expressions, obviously not prepared for a fight. What they didn't expect was Dream on the verge of a panic attack and Sapnap still trying to process his apology. 

"What is going on here?!"

Dream's head snapped up to where his other old friends were, eyed locked onto him warily. His vision zeroed in on George, and a memory flashed through his mind. Dream's breathing quickened.

_~~"just say you hate me"~~ _

_~~"you hate me"~~ _

**_~~"YOU HATE THEM"~~ _ **

**_~~"YOU HURT THEM"~~ _ **

**_~~"YOU~~ -"_ **

"D-dream? Are you okay??"

Dream's eyes flicked over to where Bad was slowly coming towards him, hands held out for Dream to reach for.

"I- I-"

Another memory flashed through his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"D-dream? Are you okay??"_

_No. He was, in fact, not okay. Dream's hands were shaking at he locked his gaze onto Bad, who was slowly approaching him. The demon had found him crying alone in a field and was attempting to find out what was wrong._

_Things didn't turn out so well._

_Dream's eye was hurting. **So. bad.** And he didn't know why. Why was he like this? What did he do to deserve this??_

_When Dream snapped out of his thoughts and refocused on his friend, he noticed that he'd gotten close to reaching out for him._

_'tooclosetooclosetoocloseTOOCLOSE-'_

_Everything happened in a blur. One moment, Bad was trying to approach Dream to help him get under control, and the next moment he was unconscious on the grass, blood trickling down his forehead._

_'whatdidyoudowhatdidyoudoWHATDIDYOUDO-'_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream held his head in his hands as he began to sob. Bad moved his hand instantly to put it on his shoulder, but Dream flinched away violently.

"D-DON'T TOUCH ME!! please, I don't wanna h-hurt you again..."

Bad finally realized ehat was making his friend so scared.

"Oh Dream... are you still guilty about that, too? Look-" before he could flinch away again, Bad wrapped Dream into a hug while locking eyes with Sap and George and giving them a look that said _'I'll tell you later'._

Sapnap looked at the speedrunner with pity. He never said much about his years alone on the SMP, and whenever it was brought up he immediately changed the subject. Sapnap had always wondered why Dream became so closed off. Maybe something happened when they still weren't there-?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by someone calling his name. The ravenette turned his head to see Dream staring up at him with with tear filled eyes, holding out his hand for him to take. With a little hesitation, Sapnap reached his hand out as well and the moment their fingers touched, he was pulled into a hug witj Dream mumbling the words 'I'm sorry' over and over again.

When they finally got up, Dream directed his focus towards George, who hadn't moved an inch during the whole encounter. Dream took a shuddering breath before walking up to the stoic George, who stood silent.

"George... I know I hurt you, and I know that a simple apology probably won't be able to do much about that, but I just wanted to tell you that I regret everything I did that day and all the days after that. You don't need to forgive me, I just needed to let you guys knoW-"

He was interrupted as George lunged towards him and attached himself onto Dream, who was taking a second to process what just happened. George sniffed before speaking.

"Y-you absolute dumb@$$, of course I'd forgive you. Why? Because you _meant_ your apologies, you were _sincere._ That- that's all I'd ever want from you."

Dream just smiled before hugging the brit back, letting out a shaky laugh.

"Ew, that was _so_ sappy, George. I can't believe youuuoOOMPH-"

"BAD WHAT THE FU-"

"LANGUAGE, AND YOU RUINED THE MOMENT!"

"WHAT DO YOU _MEAN-?!_ "

George just rolled his eyes and let go of Dream to break up the fight, which went about as well as you would expect.

"Come _on,_ guys. Stop acting like childre-"

**_SPLASH_ **

**"WHERE THE FOCK DID YOU GET WATER FROM?!"**

"My inventory, duh"

"Why you little shi-"

Dream stared at Sapnap and George, who were now wrestling on the ground, and turned his head to look at Bad with an exasperated smile on his face. Bad mimicked the smile before looking back at the two men rolling around on the floor and turning to the kitchen, dragging Dream with him.

" _We're_ going to make some dinner. The idiots having a wrestling match can help us when they're done."

Dream smiled, grabbing a pan from one of the cabinets. He had missed this.

_('Hey,' the voices snickered, 'don't get too comfortable, kid. You're gonna be gone soon.')_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blegh, i'm gonna go sit and question my life choices now


	5. To brothers,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil gets a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys listen, i'm sick and currently running on a weeks total of 2 hours of sleep and a bag of espresso beans, but i was really excited for this chapter so i'm pogging thru the pain

_"Come on, Techno! You know I can handle more heat than this-"_

_"You're also injured and the only reason I'm even letting you spar with me is because you threatened to tell Phil that I ate all of his prunes."_

_"Ok, ok. Fair enough. But listen... Techno, buddy... I'm not even that injured though! You're all just overreacting."_

**_CLANG_ **

_"OH MOTHER FUC-"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following morning, Dream jumped off of his overnight perch in an oak tree and started his trip to the tundra, where his next targets would be.

Dream was a little worried for his life this time.

He and Technoblade had been friends and partners in crime for many, many years. And for a long time, they even saw each other as brothers in all but blood. Now, though?

Oh, now things were focked up.

Whenever Dream was hanging around the tundras or even just passing through, every time he saw Tommy Techno was almost glued to his side, glaring at him with so much agression that if looks could kill, Dream would've been dead ten times over.

It pained him, hurt his soul to see his ~~brother~~ friend of so many years looking at him with so much malice, now viewing him as his enemy. A threat, poisoning his lands with it's mere presence. At the same time, Dream new that he deserved it. He new he deserved every bit of malice he got.

(That didn't make it hurt any less though.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Dre, I know I'm not very good at this mushy feelings stuff, but I'm worried about you. We all are."_

_On other side of the door, Technoblade could hear a small huff of annoyance. Still, he continued._

_"You've... you've changed. You're not yourself anymore, Dream. And as much as I make fun of you for your wheezing tea kettle laughs or your loud shrieking, I admit that I miss hearing them. You- you wear this mask all the time now and you won't tell anyone why you won't open up to them and I just don't know how to help you anymore-"_

_Techno took a deep breath before pulling himself together. He couldn't fall apart, not here, not now. Dream needed him to be strong._

_"I want to be with you. I want to help you. We all do, Dream. But we can't do that if you won't tell us what's going on..."_

_And finally, after a few moments of silence, he could faintly hear the muffled cries of his best friend Dream, cries for just a little affection and cries for help, begging for an escape from his own mind. It shattered Techno's very core to hear the once extroverted and confident warrior so broken, so vulnerable. It just didn't sit right with him, and he found himself wanting to do everything in his power to make sure that he never had to hear his closest friend so broken ever again. He wouldn't allow it._

_"Dream... Iove you and i want to give you your space, but can you please open the door? Please?"_

_After a few seconds of shuffling from the other side of the frame, a clicking sound was heard as the door cracked open and Dream stood in front of the hybrid, an adoring gaze appearing over his features and a watery smile on his lips._

_Techno immediately pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, noting how Dream was a lot slimmer than normal. He'd change that soon enough._

_They sat like that for a little while, Dream practically engulfed in Technoblade's arms. The action made him feel safe, secure. At least for a little while. Techno had his arms and body positioned very firmly around Dream's frame, his long pink hair flowing around them like a curtain. The arrangement gave off the impression that_ _if anything even dared to jump out at Dream, they would have to get through the piglin hybrid first._

_Because of his roots, Technoblade was always very protective of those who were close to him. And seeing someone he considered one of his own in pain? He couldn't **stand** it. It made him want to find the source of whatever was hurting his family and eradicate it._

_Pushing away these thoughts, Techno decided to focus on the task at hand. Getting Dream something to eat._

_As much as he didn't want to disturb the moment, Dream really, really needed some food. Techno was positive that being locked in a room with no food or water for almost a week straight wasn't exactly ideal._

_So, with a bit of hesitation, Techno spoke to Dream softly._

_"Listen... Dream I know that you're probably really tired but we need to get you some food. After you've had something to eat so you're stomach isn't empty, we can go to my room and cuddle, okay?"_

_Dream whined a little but obliged nonetheless as he got up and started making his way towards the kitchen. Techno hastily got up as well and rushed to make sure Dream didn't need any help downstairs._

**_'MOTHER TECHNO'_ **

**_'MOMNOBLADE POG'_ **

**_'MOMNOBLADE POG'_ **

**_'CRAB RAVE, DREM ISN'T DED'_ **

**_'HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA'_ **

**_'MOMNOBLADE POG'_ **

**_'MOMNOBLADE PROTECT DRE'_ **

**_'MOMNOBLADE PROTECT DRE'_ **

_Ah, looks like Chat was having a fun time with this one._

_Anyway, when Dream finally ate something and went with Techno to his bedroom, he instantly clung onto the hybrid and dozed off to sleep. Relieved, Techno eventually fell asleep too._

_However, in all his relief, Technoblade failed to notice the guilt that had flashed in Dream's eyes when he wrapped his arms around him._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking up to what he assumed to be Phil's cottage, Dream paused before knocking lightly on the door. He waited a couple seconds and wouldn't you know it, a couple moments later a very tired looking Phil appeared at the doorway.

As with Puffy, once Phil realized who was as his door, he got into a defense position with his wings spread out. Dream sighed.

"If you're looking for Tommy, I'm sorry to tell you that he's not here. And even if he was, you and I both know that I'd never give him up to you."

Dream just stared at him. This is the same man he had spent so many of his childhood days with, this is the man that would help him recover whenever he acquired an injury, and this is now the man that's staring at him as if he wasn't the same person he was all those years ago. 

_(Maybe he wasn't. )_

Dream took a shuddering breath that didn't go unnoticed by Phil. The speedrunner seemed... different. Afraid. What had happened in the time he didn't see him? At one point, he had seen Dream as one of his own children, and if you had asked Phil how many sons he had a few years ago, he would've told you with confidence that he had four. Now it seemed as if that mentality was worming it's way back into his mind.

"Look," Dream started, trying his best to steady his wobbly voice. "I'm not- I'm not here for Tommy. Or Techno. Or you. I just- y'know what? Screw it. I'm sorry, Phil. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and your family and all the trauma I've put you guys through, especially Tommy. It was- it was vile, it was wrong, and I've regretted exiling Tommy ever since it happened. It _hurt_ me _so much_ when I said all those things to him and I've never regretted anything more in my entire _life_ and I understand that you all probably hate me or something but wanted to let you know that immediately sorry-" he took a deep breath, "-none of you deserved this."

Then Dream just stood there, bracing himself for a lecture or yelling from the man in front of him about how no amount of apologies would fix Techno's paranoia, or heal Tommy's panic attacks, or bring Wilbur back to life. 

But it never came.

Dream heard a sniffle before flinching as Phil came up to him and wrapped him in a hug. Why wasn't he mad?

_('Because,' the voices snickered, 'no one forgives that easily. No one forgets. There's always gonna be punishment for your crimes. It's just gonna come later, when you least expect it. They'll backstab you just like you backstabbed them.')_

The urge to leave became a lot stronger.

"I'm glad you've seen what you did, that you recognize that what you were doing was wrong. I'm so happy that you had the courage to ask for forgiveness instead of just pushing all of those thoughts away."

_Oh Notch, how would Phil react after he left for the End? Would be be angry? Betrayed? Relieved? Relieved that he didn't have to worry about a psychopath hurting his sons anymore?_

Dream was getting antsy to get to the others before he thought too hard about anything, so he returned the hug very lightly and then pulled back to face Phil.

"I should get going, I have some things I need to do. But please, can- can you give this to Techno? And give him an apology on my behalf? It's fine if he doesn't accept it, I still wanted to apologize to him. "

Phil was about to reassure him that he would, that as much as Technoblade gave him cold looks and hate-filled stares, he'd still come over to Phil's some nights and just cry on his shoulder, telling him over and over that he wanted Dream back, that he wanted _his_ Dream back. But he didn't get to, as Dream had already sprinted down the pathway and disappeared into the misty forest ahead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Hey, Phil. I just needed to stop by for a few things. I hope you don't mind."_

_"No, I don't mind at all. By the way, Dream stopped by this morning-"_

_"What happened? Are you hurt? Is he ok?"_

_(little contradictory there, Techno-)_

_"No, he didn't hurt me. And... I'm not too sure that he's ok, if I'm being honest. He showed up at my front door today looking very skittish. His talking was shakier than what I remembered and his mask had been replaced with an enchanted blindfold over his eyes. Anyway, he just stopped by to apologize to all of us."_

_"I- what??"_

_"Mmhm. You should've been there. He seemed so... sincere. So genuine. I couldn't find even a hint of deception in any of the words he spoke. Honestly, I could even say that he seemed a little scared."_

_"Was there... anything else?"_

_"Oh! Yes, actually, there is. Here. Dream wanted me to give this to you."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back inside his base, Technoblade stared at the small picture in his hands. It was old, and had yellowed over the many years it had existed, but he could still see the picture clearly. It was one of a very familiar dirty blonde boy and his piglin hybrid companion. They both had mud caked on their arms and wooden swords in their small hands, childish smiles plastered on both of their faces.

On the back, there was a note written in black ink.

_**'To the days when we were young, when the world was brighter... and our thoughts brighter, too.'** _

And if the pinkette let a silent sob wrack through his body, a few tears slipping from his ruby eyes in the cover of night, no one would've been there to confirm it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight time to do anything but study for my history test tomorrow


	6. To friends new,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream goes to his next stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo moment

When Dream left the tundras, he already knew exactly where he wanted to head to next. He wanted to visit the heart of L'manburg. He wanted to visit Tubbo.

Dream remembers the months before the first Great War, when Tubbo was, in his eyes, still an innocent kid. Oblivious to the immense amounts of violence and hurt in the universe. He'd squeal whenever he saw a bees' nest and he had always loved frolicking in the flower fields, it reminded him of Drista and her love for green parrots.

Dream let a sad, longing smile appear on his face. Tubbo would have loved Drista.

They all would have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Dream! Dreamdreamdream! Come and see the cool field I found!"_

_Dream smiled under his mask as he let Tubbo drag him through the forest, intent on showing him the field that he had stumbled upon._

_"There's so many flowers there! I think I counted, like... a lot! A lot of flowers!"_

_After going on a few small detours("waitwaitwait hOLD UP IS THAT A CAT-") and getting lost a few times("Tubbo we've passed this oak tree 32 times already- "we have?"), the duo finally made it to the large field, hidden behind a cluster of bushes that wrapped around the entire area, like a wall. If one simply glanced at it, the tall bushes would resemble a tree-covered hill._

_"This is a really pretty area... how did you find this?"_

_"Uhhh I was getting chased by a bunch of creepers-" Dream flinched slightly at the mention of creepers, "when I found this wall of bushes and dove inside to get away."_

_"A-ah. I see."_

_"Dream? You ok big man?"_

_Said speedrunner turned his head down to answer to Tubbo, but his breath caught in his throat. Instead of the smile of a chocolate haired, blue eyed boy, it was the smile of a dirty blonde, jade eyed girl, blood staining her neck and the right side of her face completely burned off._

_Dream did everything in his power to stop himself from having a mental breakdown._

_Shaking his head a few times he answered in a somewhat wobbly voice,_

_"I- yes, Tubs. I'm- I'm fine. Let's just go inside the field, yeah?"_

_Tubbo's smile widened and he grabbed Dream's arm, yanking him into the wall of bushes with him and immediately gushing about all the kinds of flowers there were to see._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Setting foot at the entrance to L'manburg, Dream instantly spotted Tubbo on a newly built wooden pathway, pacing back and forth while mumbling to himself.

The sight made Dream's heart break a little.

This teenager, this _boy,_ was tasked with running an entire country with little to no help, he was virtually doing it alone. Why dud anyone think it was a good idea to make him do this? At such a young age?

_('you,' the voices whispered again, 'you're the one that led him to do this. You've been the cause of such widespread violence, such tyranny, you forced him into a position that he was never comfortable with. All because of your greedy, disgusting desire for more power,' they sneered, mockingly._

_'When you leave, he will have no reason to be as stressed as you've made him. When you leave, Tubbo will finally be free.')_

_Right. Right._

Gathering himself again, Dream walked towards the young leader, who was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to hear him coming.

"Tubbo-"

The boy flinched before whirling around to see Dream, armorless, standing before him. He let out a tired, borderline annoyed sigh.

"Dream, listen. I get that you're a supreme ruler or something but whatever it is that you want will have to wait for a later time. I'm a little busy with something right now."

Dream had to force himself to not take a subconscious step back. The person in front of him didn't sound at all like the innocent, happy Tubbo that he had become so familiar with. He sounded... worn out. Tired. Tired of his political position, tired of wars, tired of conflict. He seemed like a completely different person to Dream. A stranger; a jaded, broken, exhausted stranger.

It was like all the life those baby blue eyes once held had slowly been draining out of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Dream was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. So to relieve some stress, he decided to head to the outskirts of the SMP to kill some animals. Maybe punch a few trees._

_As he ventured deeper and deeper into the wilderness, he stumbled upon the field that Tubbo had shown him before the first war. Before everything fell apart._

_He decided that maybe he could cool off here. Crushing a few flowers might help._

_However, once he stepped inside, Dream's tuned hearing immediately picked up on strangled breaths and heaving gasps._

_Someone was here, and they were crying._

_Dream stealthily creeped his way over to the source of the sounds, surprised to see Tubbo crumpled onto the grass, sobbing violently. The bees that had been there at the time were frantically crowding around the boy, buzzing and nudging him with their bodies, desperately trying to get him to calm down._

_The scene reminded Dream of the weeks when he and Drista had first stared travelling alone, nights when his sister would shoot up in her bed screaming and crying as Clay immediately rushed over to her, trying to get her to steady her breathing._

_It reminded him of when he screamed Drista's name after she-_

_His breath hitched._

_He needed to get out of there._

_So, just as quietly as he showed up, Dream slipped out of the flower field and booked it back to his house, chest heaving and tears streaming down his cheeks._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back on that day, Dream wondered what would've happened if he had stayed. What could've been had he just gone over to comfort Tubbo? Would things have turned out differently, would he have realized his mistakes sooner had he gone over to see the gravity of his actions in first person?

He didn't know.

Refocusing on the task at hand, Dream sighed deeply before opening his mouth to speak. 

"I want you to take a break."

Tubbo froze mid-pace and gaped at Dream. He wanted him to do _what?_

"No. No, are you crazy?! I can't do that! I have a country to run! Meetings to attend! People to please-!"

"B-BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO!" Dream yelled, voice cracking. Tubbo seemed taken aback.

"I get that- that you're president a-and all, but you're forgetting that you're still young! You're still a teenager, you're not fully grown up yet nor are you fully mature and I know, _I know_ that I'm to blame for that. That my violent and tyrannical behavior has put you in a position that you never should've had to bear alone. Yet you're still here, pacing to and fro with worries about a country you ould never have guessed that you'd end up running. And y'know, maybe I _don't_ know the struggle of trying to balance a whole nation thrusted into your hands at such a young age, and the sudden growth that comes with it, but I _do_ know that even as a political leader, even if you grow mentally and physically from this, that does _not_ mean that you should always be centering your attention and your whole _life_ around it. Whether you like it or not, you are still a kid, and you still need time to yourself. Seeing you in the flower field that evening,"

Tubbo stiffened up at the mention of the flower field. Dream had been there? He had seen him? Oh Notch, he must've thought that he was weak and pathetic or that he was a crybaby or- 

"-it hurt. Watching you just... completely fall apart in front of my eyes _broke me._ It broke me to _pieces,_ Tubbo. It-" _(tears were beginning to prick at the corners of Dream's eyes. No, nonono. He'd already broken down multiple times with the others, he wouldn't burden someone as young as Tubbo with own personal issues-)_ "...it reminded me of something I'd rather not relive. Even so, ever since that evening in the flower field, I always wondered what could've been different had I gone to comfort you. If I had helped you, instead of being selfish and inconsiderate and bolting away. I always wonder if I would've realized my mistakes sooner and if I would've ended all the conflicts that I had dragged all of you into. I just- I just always question and ask myself what I could've done better, what could've ended better, had I stayed to comfort you. I'm... I'm sorry, Tubbo. You didn't deserve to get dragged into conflicts and wars that you never wanted to engage in. None of you did."

Tubbo just stared at Dream, taking all of the information in. He was sorry? He saw him in the field? _He saw him in the field?_ And didn't take his vulnerability as weakness?

"I- I don't even know what to say... uh, thank you, Dream. Thank you for apologizing, and for trying to help get me out of my head. I appreciate that."

Dream smiled, and it was a genuine, happy thing. Tubbo soon found himself smiling as well. He liked Dream's genuine smiles, he wanted to see them more.

Sure, he was still slightly wary of the man and that would take some time to fix, but this was a start. Things were gonna get better. Now that Dream had shown that he was willing to cooperate with everyone more _(Tubbo had heard stories of when the warrior would lock himself in an isolated room for days on end, avoiding any human contact, and it terrified him),_ maybe they could fix everything together! Maybe the could be one big family again, just like the old days.

_(Oh, how wrong he was.)_

Tubbo was taken out of his thoughts by the sound of Dream clearing his throat. 

"Now, I have a bit of an odd request...

...

.....

......

"Will you go to the flower field with me?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And they did. After the initial confusion and bewilderment of_ _such a request, Tubbo found himself eager to get back into his original hideout. He had a connection with bees, they loved him and he loved them in turn. At first, that he'd lost the connection he had with the fuzzy insects when he left the flower field, as he hadn't returned since his little breakdown and that had been many months ago._

_But now, staring at the same field- staring at the bees that instantly swarmed him, buzzing excitedly and fluttering in circles around him, he realized that he had nothing to worry about._

_At the entrance, Dream observed the scene with a smile on his face, albeit a sad one. Tubbo looked so happy, so content in the flower field, like it was his home. Dream knew that he'd have a hard time pulling him back to the main city of L'manburg, and it hurt a little when he thought on it long enough. The voices didn't help._

_('He'll be able to come back here as much as he wants when you're gone. L'manburg won't be threatened anymore, and he won't have to be as cautious with every little decision he makes. He'll have the chance to be a kid again, like he was supposed to.')_

_Well, maybe they did._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple of hours later, the duo was laying on a grassy hill at the center of the flower field, eyes closed and content smiles on their faces. Dream is the one who breaks the silence.

"Hey Tubbo... I need a favor."

"Yeah?"

"And I want you to do this as soon as you possibly can. If it takes time then make it your top priority."

"Ok...?"

"Will you-" Dream struggled to get the words out. He hated remembering the things he did.

"...will you lift Tommy's exile?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dUUUN-


	7. To friends old,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream goes to visit Sam and Punz, and makes shocking request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN I DELETED MY WHOLE FIRST DRAFT ACCIDENTALLY AND HAD TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE CHAPTER FROM SCRATCH I- *sobs*

_"Sam, we've passed 6 whole diamond veins already, your killing me right now-"_

_"We'll go and collect all the diamonds when we go back, Dream. But_ _right now gold and redstone are our main priorities, and we need to focus our attention on finding those."_

_"Are you sure that we don't have any redstone back home? I'm fairly certain that I saw some in one of the chests-"_

_"Just some redstone isn't going to be enough for the project I'm working on, Punz. And even if it was, I'm pretty sure that you saw the apples in that chest, not redstone."_

_"...fock you."_

_"Guys, I did it! I found a vein of redstone, like the amazing partner I am. Now, let me just mine some of this rock out of the waA **AAAYYYYY-"**_

_..._

_...._

.....

_"...Dream fell into a ravine, didn't he?"_

_"Yep."_

_"Is he injured?"_

_"Nope."_

_"Ok then we're gonna keep moving. The green idiot can catch up with us after he gets the redstone that he found."_

_"K."_

_"GUYS WHAT THE **FU-"**_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After ~~dragging~~ taking Tunno back to L'manburg to get his request started, Dream rested until the next afternoon to mentally prepare himself to visit the next people on his list.

Punz and Sam.

It would be pretty easy to find the two, as he knew exactly where they'd probably be on a bright, sunny afternoon, the clear blue sky painting the landscape in a type of majesty that he couldn't quite place the term for. Maybe, when everything was still okay, the three of them would've been chasing each other around the nearby cave systems or taking redstone lessons from Sam.

_The voices howled in laughter from the confines of Dream's thoughts. When would this boy ever learn?_

_('And now, now that you've come to them with a demand, they are bound to do nothing but work, for weeks on end. You gave them a demand for a prison that no one on this SMP would deserve to be sentenced to, and they can no longer relax. The sun shines brightly, her rays trying to coax Sam to freedom. The ocean swirls with warm color and vibrant life, calling Punz from the condemning dullness of obsidian walls. But you, you in all of your greed, your disgusting desire for control, have chained them to months and months of labor. They are ashamed to confirm that they've built this horrid place with their own blood, their own sweat, their own tears, and all for the satisfaction of someone who can be called nothing but a tyrant.')_

The voices were right. They always were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Dream....?"_

_Dream's head snapped up to the source of the voice to see Sam, staring at him with a look of shock plastered onto his face. He was about to question what was wrong when he remembered something._

_He didn't have his mask._

_The mask had broken while he was mining and so Dream was going to head over to the Greater SMP to drop it off at Punz's base so he could fix it._

_He didn't have his mask._

_He didn't have his mask he didn't have his mask he saw it he saw it he saw it Sam would tell everyone then they'd demand an explanation then they'd-_

_"Dream, what- what is that?"_

_Sam pointed to Dream's left eye, which was a stark and glowing purple hue. It was the eye that reminded him of the regret that he had harbored ever since defeating the dragon. It was the eye that he couldn't bring himself to look at for too long, it hurt him and it hurt everyone he had ever cared about._

_Dream moved so suddenly that later Sam would wonder if he had actually teleported. One moment, he was sitting on the grass staring at him with an unreadable expression. The next, he was in front of Sam's face, to which he let out a very, very manly yelp._

_Dream's eyes were brimming with unshed tears, and his face had twisted into one of pure, raw panic. He was terrified._

_"Sam, Sam I'm begging you...please, please please **do not** tell anyone."_

_"I- er, ok...but may I ask why? I personally don't think your eye looks that bad-"_

_"No, nonono- that's- I-I'm not self-conscious of it ~~(That was a partial lie, Dream worried that if the others found out the connection between his eye and his behavioural issues, they'd gouge it out or something 'for his own good' or some bull like that-)~~. It's- it's because of something else ~~(is it?)~~ , something I can't bring myself to- to talk about."_

_"Ok...?"_

_"Good, good. Now, I need to get out of here-"_

_Before Sam could object, before he could tell Dream that he could come with him to his house, that he missed spending time with him, that he wanted him to stay, to talk, to **heal** (the man knew that Dream needed it, no matter how much the other denied it), the young adult had already thrown an enderpearl to somewhere far off into the distance and promptly disappeared._

_One question was still swirling around in Sam's mind and as much as he didn't want to pry, he still felt regret that he let the topic go so easily._

_What had happened to Dream to make him like this, afraid and tense? What had happened to his friend?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream found himself standing in front of the location where Pandora's Vault would soon be, guilt churning in his stomach. The echoes of metal hitting metal and the whirring of machinery sounded from within the construction site. Dream was ashamed to admit that three months ago when he marveled at the soon to be prison, he felt a sick, disgusting feeling of satisfaction wash over him. He was ecstatic, as much as he wishes he wasn't. Now, however, looking at Pandora's Vault just makes him feel horrible. It makes him nauseous, thinking about how excited he was to finally have a place to dump those who resisted his control. The thought made him want to just die on the spot.

The voices were not pleased with this.

_**('YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT!!'** _ _They had shrieked, rattling Dream's skull with how loud they were inside his head. **'YOU DON'T DESERVE THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH, THE TASTE OF FREEDOM. YOU KNOW IT TOO, BOY. YOU KNOW THAT YOU DESERVE TO SUFFER. TO SUFFER ALONE.')**_

_It all quickly became too much. With each scream the words echoed and reverberated in Dream's mind and it hurt so much and he just wanted it to stop s **top stop please stop I'll listen just please stop-**_

Dream was snapped out of his head and the voices went silent as Sam rounded the corner, humming to the tune of Chirp before stopping abruptly and immediately locking eyes with him. The warrior felt himself get nervous under Sam's cold and calculating gaze, studying his every fidget, his every twitch. The voice that heard afterwards just made Dream want to turn tail and run away. 

"Saaaam, why'd you go quiet? You know I need my jukebox music to focus-"

Punz cut himself off at the sight of Dream standing in front of both of them, noting the fact that his mask was nowhere in sight.

_'Dream doesn't have his mask with him... did he break it? No, that can't be it- if he broke it he would've just dropped it off at my base, like normal. I mean, it's not like now would be any different... right?'_

Punz knew that was a stupid question to ask himself. There were lots of reasons as to why Dream wouldn't come to him for help anymore. And thinking too hard about those reasons...

It hurt him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"PUNZ!!!"_

_The scream of his name woke Punz up with a start. Had had been sleeping over at Dream's base for a couple of days because he accidentally blew up most of his own and had nowhere to stay._

~~_(That was a lie, Sam had offered to take him in but he politely declined. Punz might, MIGHT have been waiting for Dream to ask him so he could have an excuse to spend time with someone he saw as a little brother sometimes. But you didn't hear that from me.)_ ~~

_Punz very quickly identified who the person screaming was._

_It was Dream._

_Punz threw the covers off of himself and rushed to Dream's room, chest heaving once he got to the door ~~('man am I out of shape-')~~ and then proceeding to throw it open. _

_And there, in the darkness of the room, Punz could faintly see a writhing lump of blankets on the bed, heaving and sobbing and gasping for air, quiet cries of 'no no no' spilling from his lips._

_Punz wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed and wrapping Dream in a tight hug, whispering hushed pleas to wake up into his ear. And finally, finally, Punz heard Dream gasp lightly and jerk as he became alert, realizing that he was in someone's arms. Looking up_ ( _Dream always wore a cloth over his face, even when asleep. It was a little odd to everyone, but they didn't question it), he saw Punz smiling sadly at him and he pulled him into a squeezing hug, the older wincing a little at the strength of the embrace._

_They sat there a while, simply holding each other, when Punz broke the silence._

_"Sooo... do you- do you wanna talk about it...?"_

_Dream tensed noticeably and Punz regretted the words immediately after speaking them. He was just about to tell him that he didn't have to when Dream started speaking, trying his best to form coherent sentences._

_"Y-you, you f-fell off- off of th-the cliff j-just like **her** a-and I c-couldn't save y-you just- just like **her** a-and I couldn't, I couldn't-"_

_Dream wasn't able to finish as he broke out into more sobs, wailing into Punz's chest. He let him, rubbing soothing circles on his back, just like Sam taught him to._

_"Dream, I'm right here. I'm right here and I'm not gonna leave you."_

_Punz could feel Dream's small smile against his chest, and it caused him to smile, too. And there, he silently swore to himself that he'd keep his word. He'd always be there for Dream ~~(even if the sentiment wasn't mutual)~~._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...what are you doing here?" Sam asked, posture tense with an air of pure exhaustion. 

"I-" Dream's words caught in his throat. He was sweating bullets and was quite frankly _terrified._ Befire he could even think about forming a cohesive sentence, Sam spoke again.

"Dream look, if you're here to tell us to work faster, I promise you that we're working as fast as we can. All we need to do is make sure none of the machinery will malfunction and get some lanterns and bedding in there, and we'll be done. I know you think it's taking a long time but please, _please_ just let us work for a couple more weeks-"

"I want you to stop building it."

Sam froze and turned to look at him, eyes wide. Dream winced at how Punz's hands clenched and his eyes squeezed shut, lips pursed. This was gonna go badly- 

"What-" before Sam could question him, Punz went to stand in from of him and beat Sam to it.

"I don't understand, Dream. First, months ago, you were prodding and poking at us almost every day, ~~demanding~~ asking us to work faster. And now, now that we're almost done, you want us to stop? I just...I don't _understand,_ Dream. What- what do you want from us-!?!"

"I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO BE A FAMILY AGAIN!!" Dream shouted, causing Punz to take a step back, eyes wide at his sudden outburst. 

"I just... I just want you guys at least to take a break from working, from laboring and just have time to _breathe_ for a minute! I-I hated, _hated_ myself for ever asking you to create Pandora's Vault, to create a prison that no one here ~~(other than me)~~ should ever have to be thrown into. I just feel so _sick_ and _vile_ looking at this place now, looking at the people I forced into making it for me. I feel so disgusted with myself, using your kindness and loyalty and twisting it for my own _retched_ benefit. I've... I've regretted ever even thinking about telling you to build this... this prison. So... please, please, _please-"_

Dream crumpled to the grass on his hands and knees, begging Sam and Punz to stop the construction of Pandora's Vault, or to at least take a break and go out to spend some time with the others for a change.

After finally snapping himself from his dazed state, Sam raced over to Dream's shaking figure and pulled him into an awkward but still comforting hug, telling him that it was alright _ ~~('no it wasn't no it wasn't no it wasn't')~~_ and Punz telling him that he forgave him _ ~~('no you didn't no you didn't nO YOU DIDN'T-')~~_ _._

"Dream, if you want us to stop building Pandora's Vault, then we will." Sam glanced over at Punz for a second before turning back to Dream and nodding his head in agreement. They'd stop, and they would spend their time hanging out with each other again, just like when they had first come to the SMP. 

"Hey, it's getting late. How about we go back to my house to make some dinner, the three of us?" Sam suggested, to which Dream hesitantly nodded. He still had one more person to go, but he supposed he could rest awhile. 

"Mkay, that's cool." 

Dream got up from his spot on the grass and proceeded to help Sam up, his back cracking to which Punz snickered the word "Old" under his breath, making Dream giggle. Together, the trio began to head over to Sam's base. 

_('You'll fail them, boy. You're gonna slip up like you always do and when that time comes, you won't be able to repair anything anymore. Nonetheless, I am generous. I will let you enjoy your time with them, child. But do not forget what your goals are.')_

Dream's smile dropped for a split second, but the other two were too caught up in their conversation to notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to the song porcelain by mxmtoon while writing this chapter and the whole time I was just chanting to myself
> 
> "dreamdreamdreamdream that's so dream omgoldfish what even-"


	8. To one for which the world would fold,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream does his final apology, then he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommeh pog

_"Hey big D, what did you want to talk about?"_

_"Hey Toms. I just wanted to tell you something."_

_"Ok, hit me!"_

_"I...I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens in the future, no matter what I ever say or do to you, I promise that I'll always, always care. Even if I'm really bad at it."_

_"Oh woooow, you made me come all this way,"_

_"You were literally like 2 minutes away from me-"_

_"-all this way, just so you could get all sappy on me? Ok, sympathetic antagonist."_

_"Ok, tomathy."_

_..._

_...._

_....._

_"...you're dead to me."_

_"ha ha hAAAAA **AA** -"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream stared at the area where Tommy was currently staying. His heart pounded inside his chest as he contemplated how in the heck he would manage this.

_(Tommy's scream echoed through the night sky as he slumped to the hard wood, an arrow lodged in his abdomen._

_Wilbur immediately rushed over to him, a panicked expression on his face and tears slipping from his eyes. He yelled for fundy to get some medical equipment and to help patch up Tommy._

_Dream stared at the scene in front of him, posture still and eyes wide(although no one could see that). It- it wasn't supposed to be like this. How did it become like this? When did a fun, relaxing server with his ~~family~~ friends become a warzone? A land of seemingly endless chaos and destruction, tearing through everything and everyone he had ever cherished? _

_His chest began getting tight and his breathing quickened. Dream blinked, and in front of him was a different person. Instead the figure of a heaving, gasping Tommy, it was the figure of a lifeless 11-year-old, blood staining her pastel green sweater and her jade eyes blank and empty._

_Dream stumbled back a little, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. He had messed up. **again.** Tommy might **die** and it was all **his fault-)**_

Dream was shaking his head forcefully, desperate to try to shoo the memory out of his head. Gazing back at the open plains where he knew Tommy set up camp, Dream turned and trudged back into the depths of the forest, head hung low. He'd try again tomorrow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Dream smirked under his mask as he lunged at Tommy from behind, tackling him to the ground and resting his wooden sword against his neck. Tommy looked up at Dream with an expression of shock before his lips formed into a pout._

_"Where the frick did you even come from, big D? I swear I looked up that tree at least three times-"_

_"A magician never reveals his secrets, Toms."_

_"Ah, of course! That would make sense... iF YOU WERE A FOCKING MAGICIAN!!!"_

_Dream snorted from behind his mask before taking his sword away from it's place on Tommy's neck and bursting into a fit of wheezes. Tommy just sent a playful glare at him._

_"Ok, ok... now that we're done sparring(Dream sent him an unamused look that he could feel even with the mask covering his face, they had just started two hours ago-), can we go and some lunch Dream? Please please please, I'm s **tarving-"**_

_"Ok, ok. Fine."_

_The two began walking towards Niki and Puffy's bakery before Dream suddenly flinched and gritted his teeth, letting out a pained gasp and stopping in his tracks._

_'_ _No no no no, please not now- p **lease-'**_

_"Ey big D, you good?"_

_Dream flinched even more at the sound of Tommy's voice, he was here. Tommy was here, he was here Dream was gonna hurt him he was gonna h **urt him he was gonna hurt him and he wouldn't be able to explain WHY-**_

_"D-dream?"_

_Tommy was getting worried now, it seemed as if Dream was in so much pain that he couldn't hear him. The teen was just about to reach out to him, maybe try to get Dream to focus when the warrior suddenly straightened up and stuck his hand in front of him, ordering Tommy to stop. And with much strain, he spoke._

_"I- **I'** m **o-** o **k.** Jus **t- ju** st g **o a** nd s **a** ve u **s a s** ea **t, I'l** l- I **'ll b** e right t **-th** er **e."**_

_Tommy was about to protest when Dream turned his mask towards him and gave him a look of 'I wasn't asking', even if he couldn't see his face. It still puzzled Tommy as to how he managed to do that. Nonetheless, he obliged and continued on to central L'manburg, where the bakery was._

_When Dream was sure that the teen was out of earshot, he doubled over on the grass and whimpered pitifully, tears cascading down his cheeks and his eye burning and stinging. All the voices inside his head spoke like a swarm of insects, buzzing and shrieking all at once, swarming his thoughts with uninvited whispers and obnoxious snickers._

_As he wailed silently into the grass, Dream found himself glad that he kept his composure long enough to get Tommy away from him. It terrified the speedrunner to think about what could've happened if Tommy had been there to see Dream fall apart._

~~_(Dream ignored the part of him that was screaming and crying for him to rethink his actions; begging for him to shriek as loud as he could to get Tommy's attention, to get anyone's attention, just so he wouldn't have to suffer and sob alone.)_ ~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Dream found himself at that same spot in the woods, gazing out from the shadows at Tommy, who was caught up in trying to help Ghostbur get his sheep Friend out of a hole. The older smiled a little at his antics, at least he was still able to enjoy life sometimes. 

Dream's clutched the paper in his hands tightly. It was the political order that Tubbo had set up for him, stating that Tommy's exile was now officially over and that he could start packing for home as soon as possible. Dream wanted to give it to him, he _really did,_ but just the thought of having to face Tommy, having to watch his cheerful expression fall and his eyes dull, it made Dream's chest tighten and his vision blur. 

He'd try again tomorrow.

_(Dream blearily blinked his eyes as he looked up from his spot on the onside floor. Where was he? How did he get here?_

_Lava surrounded the platform he was on and he felt his breathing quicken. It looked exactly like his blueprints for the-_

_A voice echoed through the static of Dream's mind. After a couple seconds of trying to tune his ears to the sound, Dream realized that he recognized that voice, just barely._

_It was Tommy._

_"-do you miss the most, Dream?"_

_Said warrior ~~(or was he a prisoner now?)~~ could barely hear the words that were coming out of Tommy's mouth. Who does he miss the most? What kind of question was that? _

_Dream went to ask him what he meant, what was going on when he realized that he couldn't move at all, not even his mouth. His eyes widened once again and he started panicking, heterochromatic orbs darting around the room until they landed on the blurry image of Tommy's face. He was shocked and terrified to see that the teen had a look of satisfaction plastered onto that pale face, sharp aqua eyes narrowed in a sense of distaste. It was af if he had just captured a cockroach in a trap and then proceeded to examine it, analyzing and criticizing it's every fleeting buzz, it's every pitiful twitch._

_Is this what would happen if he left and was caught? Is this what would happen if he stayed?_

_Dream wasn't very sure which it was._

_The only thing he knew is that he hated that look, being stared at as if he were an annoying pest, an insect, good for nothing but to be crushed under the foot of others._

_But when Tommy turned to leave, seemingly content with the state of his enemy ~~(the words sounded wrong in Dream's head, they were supposed to be friends, why did that change?)~~ , Dream panicked even more; trying his hardest to scream or cry, to beg for him to come back, that he didn't want to be alone in this cell, surrounded by the churning and bubbling of the lava. _

_But no matter how hard the tried, Tommy didn't come back. He was trapped in this prison ~~(the prison he had asked for)~~ , left to be forgotten, destined to be alone.)_

Dream jolted upwards from his place on the branch of a spruce tree, effectively smacking his head against the branch above him. Groaning loudly and reaching up to rub his aching skull, Dream thought back on the nightmare he had just experienced. Or at least, he tried to. Whenever he thought about the look that Tommy had given him, he felt tears spring to his eyes and his hands flew up to his bronze hair. 

Dream soon realized that there was no way that he could even consider giving Tommy his apology in person, not when the thought of how it might go made him go on the verge of a panic attack. Sighing, Dream sat up on his perch and attempted to find alternate ways to get this over with. Just when he was about to give up and go to bed, Dream jerked upright and whipped out his axe, an idea forming in his head. 

He knew exactly how he would do this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tommy had just come back from a hunting trip, Ghostbur leaving for a couple minutes to tie Friend up. When he stepped into the clearing where his camp was, Tommy immediately noticed the chest right in the center of the field, torches placed around it. He didn't remember putting that there...

Cautiously, Tommy strolled up to the chest and examined it for any sus wires or redstone. When he found none, the teen opened the chest and took out what seemed to be an enchanted compass, judging by the way it pulsated with a purplish glow. The compass pointed to the forest directly in front of him, going north. Tommy hesitated before calling Ghostbur over and following the compass, his axe gripped firmly in his other hand, just in case it was a trap. 

What Tommy didn't expect was a small cottage in another clearing, flowers growing around it and a small pen connected to the side of the house. A sign was placed directly in front of it, with the words _'Property of Tommyinnit'_ etched onto the wood. His eyes widened before he yelled into the forest,

"GHOSTBUR! GET YOUR TRANSPARENT @$$ OVER HERE, QUICKLY!! LOOK AT ALL THIS _STUFF-"_

Tommy dashed into the cottage and admired the interior. There was a cozy fireplace in the living room, a rug setting comfortably on the oak wood floor. There were framed pictures of him and Tubbo as well as his other friends hung on the wall next to a staircase, leading to the upper floor. Climbing up the stairs, Tommy marveled at the cozy bedroom with a stand of diamond armor on one wall, a small desk and a lantern off to the side, as well a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room.

Going back downstairs, Tommy smiled at the rows of chests lining one of the walls, obviously intended for storage purposes. 

_'Who would even take the time to build all this... and for me, no less?"_

It was then that Tommy noticed a small, neatly folded note resting on top of the kitchen counter, as well as another larger paper under it. The note read:

**_'Tommy, I know all the pain I've caused you, emotionally and physically. I know that nothing could ever heal some of the scars you still carry, but I still wanted to do a little something for you regardless. You've suffered enough.'_ **

**_-big D :)_ **

To say that Tommy was shocked would be an understatement. He was _bamboozled._ How- why- _why_ would Dream do this? Why would he do this for _him?_

Tommy didn't care at the moment, as when he read the next paper, tears welled up in his eyes. 

It was an official writing from his friend Tubbo; saying that by anonymous request, Tommy's exile was lifted.

He could go home.

Tommy immediately rushed out of the cottage _(He'd definitely come back to it soon, it'd probably become the place he stayed when he went to visit Techno and Phil)_ and over to a confused but still smiling Ghostbur, happy that Tommy was in a good mood. The teen began rambling about the cottage and the notes, emphasizing the paper that stated that his exile was over, that he could go home. Ghostbur's milky eyes seemed to light up at the mention of Tommy getting to go back to L'manburg, excited that he would get to see all his friends again. 

Tommy rushed back to his small camp and began packing everything up, chatting excitedly with Ghostbur, who was helping him get all his stuff together. This was really happening.

Tommy could finally go home, he could finally be with his whole family again.

_(Maybe, if he had payed more attention, maybe Tommy would have seen the small handwriting on the back of the first note -so tiny that one could barely read it- saying that Dream would be leaving now that he's finished his goodbyes and that he hopes that everyone is happy, saying that everything would be better for him in the end.)_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Staring at the rising sun, Dream sat perched on a cliff that let him see for miles ahead. It was the same cliff where he first gazed at his once new SMP. The same cliff where he decided he wanted to defeat the Enderdragon. 

He smiled, a few tears slipping from his eyes as he looked longingly at the rebuilt L'manburg, the Greater SMP, the snowy, cold tundras. He would miss it, but Dream knew that this day would come eventually. He'd either leave himself or be forced out of his land, exiled like Tommy was, except no one would bother to visit him. No one would care. 

Shaking away those depressing thoughts, Dream turned away from the cliff face, casting one last nostalgic glance at the cities below ~~ _(cities he helped create)_~~ before turning towards the dark forest ahead of him, challenging him with it's taunting shuffles and eerie creaks. 

_('This is it. You're finally leaving. Keep set on your goal, child. You've almost made it.)_

Startled by the first encouraging sentence from the voices since, well... _ever,_ Dream took a sharp inhale before stepping forward, letting the looming darkness of the forest engulf his lean figure. 

It was a new beginning, a chance to start over, and Technoblade would fly before Dream would miss it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DREAM IS GONE I REPEAT DREAM IS GONE-


	9. I'll miss the days I spent with you,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream plans and reflects.
> 
> Technoblade realizes and panics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friendly reminder:
> 
> updates will get slower from now on, probably to about once a week(specific days will be random because my schedule is as wack as my planning skills)

_"Hey Techno, what's living in the nether like?"_

_Technoblade's expression darkened at the mention of his former home. He had actively expressed how much he disliked the nether, but never really specified why._

_"It's... annoying. The heat isn't quite unbearable but it's hot enough to where you're uncomfortable at all times, while also being airy so that it sounds dumb to complain about it. The whole place is just...cringe."_

_Dream chuckled lightly at his summary of the nether, and Techno smiled fondly at him. The younger had been getting a little distant lately so he was happy to make good conversation with him for the first time in a while. It made him feel like he had one more thing to fight for._

_"...why'd you ask?"_

_Dream tensed a little, although Techno didn't notice; too focused on the beautiful sunrise they had been watching together._

_"I...I just wanted to know."_

_And Techno believed him._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream woke up on a bright, sunny morning, surrounded by the gentle rustling of trees and the cheery songs of birds. He let an easygoing smile on his face as he got up from his grass/leaf bed and ate a small breakfast of berries. He didn't take much with him when he left his house initially, as to not cause any suspicion when he went to apologize to his former friends. 

_('It didn't feel right to call them family anymore, as much as Dream wanted to. He did so many horrible things, he felt didn't deserve to be labeled as a part of their dynamic. It's not like he minded, though. He understood.)_

After his light breakfast, Dream got out an old map that he'd found somewhere and looked it over. According to the points on it, there was a ruined nether portal somewhere east of the oak forest he'd spent the night in, and a village near the halfway point. Perfect.

It had been three days since Dream left the SMP(the central part at least) and he's been busy gathering materials and getting as far away as possible. Actually, the first two days were nonstop travel and last night was the first actual night he slept, so he was a little tired. 

Gathering his stuff, Dream got up and began walking towards the village. He thought that maybe he'd trade some of his stuff for basic gear, maybe find some potions. 

Dream heard a small meow from behind him and turned to see Patches, stretching out her limbs before coming up to him and nudging her head against his leg. Patches had appeared last evening and cuddled up to Dream when he had gone to sleep, which he appreciated.

~~_(She also served as a sense of comfort when he had been viciously woken up from a nightmare, screaming at the top of his lungs and sobbing uncontrollably. She reminded Dream that he wasn't fully alone, that something still loved him, that something still cared.)_ ~~

After greeting him good morning, Patches slinked into the shadows of the forest, disappearing from view. Dream wasn't worried, she'd find him. She always did.

_('Let's hope that the same isn't true for your 'friends'', the voices whispered.)_

Dream had grown used to the snickers and ghostly whispers of the voices, whatever they were. As of the last three days he'd been gone, the ex-leader had actually grown comfortable around them, as they had given him a sense of entertainment.

They were also pretty helpful, too. The voices kept him focused whenever he would space out too much ~~ _(or were they just distracting him?)_~~ , and they shoved away all they intrusive thoughts that sometimes clouded his mind ~~ _(or were they just shooing away his logic, trying to keep any semblance of doubt at bay?)_~~.

Sometimes they made comments that were a bit harsh, but Dream overlooked those. The voices were right, that was no question. They were always right.

_(Dream ignored the part if him that was begging him to stop, to regain control of his mind, to think logically for a change and claw himself out of this madness. The voices shoved those thoughts away, too.)_

Overall, things were looking up for Dream. Sure, sometimes he had hallucinations of camping with Sap, George, and Bad...and sometimes he'd have a breakdown when he saw a horse eating grass _(it reminded him of days when he and Techno would ride their horses together in the green, grassy plains, the piglin hybrid always turning it into a race),_ but it was nothing minor...and the voices always helped in keeping his head straight.

_('You'll get through it,' they'd giggle, making him giggle too. 'a few nightmares and some hallucinations are nothing compared to what you've put other people through. This is a balanced situation.')_

Dream would always nod along to that. He had learned to listen to the ever-present whispers in his head, it made it easier to keep going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno was currently on his way to Dream's base _(months prior, the man had finally caved in and showed him his house to prove that he wasn't homeless, and although it was much smaller than the piglin hybrid had expected, it was still a house)_ to patch things up between them again. After Phil told him about the apology and gave him the picture _(which he promptly stuck into his journal, as he didn't want to lose it)_ , he wanted to personally visit Dream do that they could fully reconcile with each other. It hurt him a little that Dream was too scared to approach Techno himself, but he understood, mainly because he knew and had witnessed Dream's long history of easily triggered panic attacks and came to terms with the fact that the young adult wouldn't have lasted very long trying to keep his composition if he had tried.

So here he was, staring at his friend's _('brother's', a part of him whispered. 'He's still your little brother.')_ base and sweating. Techno was never one for confrontations and he didn't want Dream to think that he was there to kill him or something.

He took a deep breath before knocking once. When there was no response, he knocked again, a little louder this time. Ten minutes later, Techno was starting to get worried. Sure, Dream could've been out exploring but from what he had gathered from Phil and a few others, he seemed too on edge to do that. To nervous, too frail. He would've been too tired to go far, and he never really left the SMP without telling anyone that he'd be gone. 

Finally, Techno had enough. He tried opening the door, surprised to find it unlocked. Dream was too cautious to just leave it like that, especially when Quackity was after him. Techno's stomach flipped at the state of the house. Crumpled papers were scattered everywhere and his mask was laying on the floor for some reason, completely untouched. Books were scattered everywhere, ones with very alarming titles on the fronts.

One book caught Techno's eye immediately, as the title was something he'd feared that Dream would delve into, if curious enough. He picked up the book and flipped through the pages, noting the various sticky notes on almost every page, analyzing and detailing each section. It was a book about the nether, detailing legends and tales as old as time and covering the many, many rumors of treasures and artifacts that were supposed to be there. 

What was interesting was that there were a bunch of side notes and scribblings written in such a rush that Techno couldn't even read them. He only understood pieces about a city and an island, although he had no clue as to how those specific topics tied into the nether. It didn't matter right now, as one thing was clear:

Dream wasn't home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_A preteen boy was running in the the forest with his companion, old boots creating echoes through the forest floor._

_He glanced over to the side where his companion had a smug look on his face, confident in his abilities of stamina._

_What had started as an evening picking berries for Phil quickly turned into a race(as things normally did with the two) to see who could sprint through the forest the longest. In hindsight, this was a pretty stupid idea and it was getting late, but both boys couldn't find it in themselves to care. The older addressed the younger, never slowing down his pace._

_"You ready to give up, Dreamie?"_

_Dream just smirked in return._

_"You wish, pinky."_

_Soon the two came to a cluster of bushes and trees and proceeded to barrel through them, determined smiles on their faces. However, when Dream got out of the patch of foliage with twigs stuck hin his hair, he quickly realized that he and his self-proclaimed big brother had been separated._

_It was getting late and Dream needed to find him as soon as possible, because Phil would kill them both if they came back home too late._

_"TECHNO!! WHERE ARE YOU-!!" Dream shouted, although the yelling attracted some unwanted attention._

_The boy began to see various mobs emerge from the shadows of the forest, slowly but surely advancing towards him. Unsheathing his iron sword, Dream got into a defensive position, preparing for a fight._

_Dream would admit that he was scared, but he was also excited to test out the new techniques he'd been practicing with Techno on these creatures._

_When a zombie crossed the imaginary line he'd set up in his head, Dream lunged forward and cut off it's arms Then slashed it's abdomen, blood gushing out of the wounds and onto the grassy forest floor._

_Dream continued to cut through the mobs, remembering what Techno had taught him about posture and angle. He remembers the older telling him that the art of the sword would soon become less wild and sloppy swinging, and more of a graceful dance, flowing fluently from the attacker to the target. There was one thing that Techo had told Dream he needed to work on, however, and that was-_

**_thunk_ **

_...Being aware of his surroundings._

_With a cry of pain, Dream glanced over at a spot in the trees where two skeletons sat, bows aimed at him. His iron sword had been dropped when an arrow lodged itself in his shoulder and was soon lost to the group of slowly approaching monsters, swept away in the night._

_Frantically searching his inventory, Dream found an old stone axe that had been lying there. It would have to do._

_A mob who had a wooden sword hit him a couple times before he got rid of it, and a few skeletons had hit him in his side and his leg, but other than that there weren't many injuries on him._

_That was, until a creeper exploded next to him._

_The impact of the explosion sent Dream flying backwards and roughly hitting his head on the base of a cliff. He let out another cry of pain, the world swirling in spirals around him. When no monsters followed, Dream began hearing the sounds of sword slashes and grunting, relief flooding his aching limbs. Technoblade had found him._

_When said pinkette emerged from the brush, the stoic look on his face quickly morphed into one of relief and slight worry. He rushed over to where Dream's battered figure lay, locking eyes with him._

_"Where are you hurt."_

_The question came out as more of a statement, and Dream rolled his eyes at the piglin hybrid's tone._

_"My side. The skeleton got my shoulder too."_

_"And?"_

_Dream groaned._

_" **And** my leg, as well as a couple slashes on my back."_

_"And?"_

**_"And_ ** _I hit my head on the wall of this cliff. Happy?"_

_Techno raised an eyebrow, which Dream scoffed at, as if trying to find any reason to think he was hiding some other injury from him. Technoblade had the ridiculous ability to read people very, very well, being able to pinpoint almost exactly what they're thinking just by looking at their body language or their eyes. It was very helpful in trying to get information out of Dream, as much as he hated it._

_When Techno saw no hesitation, he sighed and ripped a piece of cloth from his red cloak, wrapping it around the slashes on Dream's back before turning his face towards him and staring him dead in the eye._

_"Is there's so much as even one extra slash on you when I examine you at Phil's, you aren't sparring with me for a week."_

_"Ok, **mom."**_

_"With how little self-preservation skill you tend to have, I might as well be."_

_Dream scoffed before turning his head to hide the small smile forming on his face._

_Although Dream would never admit it, he always felt a certain warmth settle in his chest during exchanges such as this one. It felt nice...to be cared for, to be loved, as when he was out traveling with Drista he always took on the role of protecter and 'mother hen'._

_The boy was so used to fussing over his little sister that he had forgotten what it felt like to be fussed over, and it was a strange but not totally unwelcome feeling._

_Techno picked up on this too, and felt the urge to fill in the role of an older sibling in the younger boy's life. Ever since he met Dream,Techno had felt responsible for him and for his safety, and when he realized that Dream never really had that he became even more determined to be there for him. To fill in those shoes._

_Techno smiled softly before getting up and picking Dream up, saying that he didn't wanna mess up his leg more. After a bit of protest Dream reluctantly agreed, getting comfortable in Technoblade's arms. He fell asleep when they got to Phil's house and Techno was very glad he did, as it lessened the expression of anger Phil had taken on when he opened the door._

_Techno simply let Phil dress Dream's wounds before giving him the ok of take him back to his room. The piglin boy didn't do that however, and instead took both of them to his room, mainly because he knew he'd probably have a nightmare about that night and it would be quicker to calm himself down this way._

_Wrapping his arms around Dream's sleeping figure, Techno realized how tired he actually was_ _, and soon let himself become engulfed in the welcoming embrace of sleep._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno was getting frantic. He had searched every inch of the main SMP, but Dream was nowhere to be found. He searched L'manburg, too, asking anyone he saw if they'd talked to Dream recently. When they all said no, Techno began panicking. From what he had heard from Phil, it looked like Dream hadn't been taken good care of himself, and he was described as a nervous, fidgety mess. 

He found Tommy wandering L'manburg and immediately rushed over to him.

"Tommy, tommy have you seen Dream anywhere? And is your exile over?"

Techno's expression of panic turned into a strange mix of curiosity and panic. Tommy raised an eyebrow at his brother before replying.

"Uh, yeah. Didn't you hear? Apparently Dream had my exile lifted and he built me a cool new house! It's a bit strange, but I'm definitely not gonna complain."

He didn't know why, but Techno felt his breathing quicken. Something wasn't right.

"Did- did he leave anything? A note?"

"Yes, actually, he did! It was a neat little apology note that was with the papers saying that I could come home. Why'd you ask?"

"Can I see it?"

Tommy was getting a bit alarmed now. His brother was in a very panicked state, asking where Dream was. Did he know something-?

"U-uh, sure...I guess. Here."

Tommy pulled the small note out of his pocket and handed it to Techno. It was then that he saw the small scribblings on the back, which was facing towards him. He felt dread settle in his gut.

"Techno- Techno. There's something on- on the back."

The piglin hybrid quickly flipped the note over and tried to read the small handwriting.

_**'Well, I guess it's time. Now that I've tried to make things right with all of you, I need to leave. Please cherish the good memories that we had together, and hold them close. I doubt you'll care, but that's all right. I just needed you to know that everything will be better this way. I'll get better in the end.'** _

_**-Dream :)** _

Techno's breath hitched in his throat. He was gone. He was gone, he ran away. He was gone he was gone he was gone his Dream was _**gone-**_

"T-tech? What's wrong? What's going on??"

Techno's expression hardened as he shoved the note back into Tommy's arms. When the boy read it, his eyes widened, a look of horror morphing onto his face.

"But why-"

"I don't _**know,**_ Tommy. But we're gonna find him. We're gonna find him, whether he likes it or not."

Techno managed to find all the people Dream had apologized to in the past two weeks, and had them go to his base. While waiting for them to arrive, the piglin man held his head in his hands.

_'Dream didn't convince himself to do this alone. He has more common sense than that. No, there's something else at play here. Phil said that Dream looked almost sickly, and that he was fidgety. Nervous.'_

Technoblade's heart skipped a beat.

_'Something, **or someone,** is forcing him to do this. That's the only logical explanation. He's being manipulated.'_

The hybrid's stomach twisted at the thought of Dream, alone and afraid, with nothing but himself and his often belittling mentality. He hated, _hated_ the notion that something was making him do this, that there was a being poisoning his mind with false information about what others viewed him as. Whatever this was, whatever was manipulating Dream to do this, Techno would eradicate it. He'd **_destroy it._** He'd make sure that it never _touched_ Dream's mindset again. 

Techno swore to himself, he'd _annihilate_ anything that hurt what was his _his **his-**_

He didn't even notice when he got up and punched the wall, causing the stone around the place of impact to crack. He didn't even notice that the rest of his ~~friends~~ family had arrived until-

"Techno?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruh oh, things are heating up-
> 
> I feel a bit iffy about this chapter, but meh. I got some good bromance friendship in there so I guess that's cool
> 
> By the way, I kinda wanna have a name for the voices Dream hears instead of just 'the voices'. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!


	10. But I wonder, will you miss me too?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not everyone is as understanding.....
> 
> (takes place before the last chapter, about a day after Dream leaves.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I just couldn't wait to post this chapter lol)
> 
> bruh... thanks to all of you for reading this crap, what the honk-

_Quackity had been sitting at the desk in his 'office' when he heard a knock at the door._

_"Come in."_

_He was surprised and slightly annoyed to see the mask of Dream peek out from the door frame. He had his armor on, but his posture carried the air of someone that was exhausted._

_"Is this... is this where people come in for therapy?"_

_Quackity seemed taken aback at that. Oh, yeah. He had told the others that his place was free for anyone who needed to ramble to him, because he was a great friend. However, he didn't think this applied to Dream._

_"Actually-"_

_He was just about to tell him that his place was closed and to come back another time when an idea flashed through his mind, an invisible lightbulb popping up in his head._

_"...yes. you're in the right place. Please, come in. Take a seat."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After getting home from a week long hunting trip, the _last_ thing Quackity thought he'd get back to was a crown of flowers on his porch and a note stuck to his door. 

Curious, he picked up the crown and set it on his head then took the note off of the door and went inside with it.

Unfolding the note, Quackity scowled when he recognized the handwriting. What did Dream want with him now?

Quackity recalled all the times that Dream had used his place of power to manipulate his friends, to bend them to his will and use them for his own benefit. 

_(A small part of Quackity whispered that he did the same while working under Schlatt and while setting up his little 'army'. A small part reminded him that his record wasn't exactly clean either._

_But Quackity ignored it. It was the easiest thing to do.)_

He sighed before reading the note to himself.

**_'Hey, Quackity. It's Dream. I would've come here in person but I don't think you would've liked that very much, actually you would've probably stabbed me. I don't blame you though, I'd let you. Listen, I know that you ~~hate~~ don't like me at all, but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. For weeks I knew that what I'd been doing to you guys was wrong, and I've finally decided to act on my conviction. _ **

**_I know that I hurt you, that I hurt people you ~~cared~~ care about, and I wanted to apologize._ **

**_I'm going to be leaving, and by the time you read this note I'll probably be gone. I hope you get to enjoy life more, now that I'm not in the way._ **

**_I have so much more that I wanted to tell you in person, and maybe I'll get the courage to one day. But for now, farewell._ **

**_-Dream :)_ **

Quackity stared at the note for what seemed like ages. Dream....was sorry? For everything he'd done? He wanted to apologize?

No. It couldn't be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Sooo...what's on your mind, man?"_

_Dream had taken a seat in the chair right in front of Quackity, fidgeting nervously. It was funny seeing Dream look so lost. So...confused. As if he was just now becoming unsure of all the crimes he'd committed, all the friendships he'd smashed to bits._

_'_ _Hold on. Take your time. We'll get to this part_ _eventually.'_

_"Well... I- I don't really know how to put it. Things have been... pretty rough lately."_

_'Serves you right, you tyrant. It's about time you got some karma.'_

_Quackity did his best to hide his pleased sneer. While he was supposed to be acting neutral, every problem that Dream had been faced with, Quackity felt like all of that was deserved._

_He let his mind wander as Dream rambled to him(leaving out a few key parts of the story, mind you), the session completely forgotten in his mind._

_All he could think about was how he had helped Wilbur in his attempt to blow up L'manburg, eventually resulting in his own father having to slay him._

_Quackity scowled at the memory of Tommy, alone in his exile, only a shell the loud and reckless person he once was._

_The good memories made it hurt more. They made Quackity's blood boil. They made him believe with all his heart that this man sitting in front of him, Dream, was the reason for everything bad that had ever happened in this server._

_"-I just feel so-"_

_It was at this time that Quackity decided to interrupt him._

_"....do you know the things my other patients talk about?"_

_"N-no."_

_"No? Well I feel that I need to tell you. Puffy comes here pretty often, crying and sobbing. She tells me that she no longer sees 'her little duckling' when she looks at you. All she sees is a tyrant. A beast, hungry for power._

_(Dream's breath hitched.)_

_"Tubbo comes here late at night, bags under his eyes and tear tracks down his face. He tells me that he misses the days when no one wanted more power, when he didn't have the weight of an entire nation resting on his shoulders."_

_(Dream felt his chest tighten.)_

_"Phil comes here some, too. He laments to me about his sons, how broken they've become at the hands of a vicious psychopath. He says that he wishes that he came sooner, that he had been there to save them."_

_(Dream's breathing began to quicken.)_

_"Tommy asks me to come to him sometimes. When I can, I see him sitting on a hollowed leg, eyes glazed over and a faraway expression on his face. He tells me that he just wants to go home. That he just wants to see his family again. I normally tell people to accept their current situation, then work their way to changing it for the better. But...Tommy says that he knows it won't change, despite his best efforts for it to. He tells me that no matter how hard he tries, there will always be something to yank whatever happiness he manages to obtain away from him."_

_(Dream started shaking in his seat, terrified by the images flashing through his head.)_

_"So yeah. You're a pretty popular topic among the people here, **Dream.** Congratulations."_

_Quackity didn't even try to hide the malice evident in his tone. In fact, he hoped Dream heard it loud and clear. He hoped that he shattered any semblance of the illusion Dream tried to make himself believe. Quackity hoped that he crushed any confidence this man had left._

_(Quackity also seemed to forget that, despite all of Dream's wrongdoings, Puffy said that she knew deep down inside, her little duckling was trying to claw his way out of the web, begging for someone to help him._

_Quackity seemed to forget that Tubbo said he was told of the issues that Dream had long before any civilization was built on the SMP, and that he longed to help him in any way he could._

_Quackity seemed to forget that Phil mentioned the fact that he wished he had been there for Dream, too. That he knows that if Dream would just open up to him, he'd welcome him back with open arms._

_Quackity seemed to forget that Tommy says he knows of the crap that Dream had to go through, that he knows Dream has his own monsters to slay, his own demons to battle. That he wants to come back to his family, which means he wants Dream back, too.)_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quackity stared at the note for what seemed like hours before snapping out of his trance and racing out the door, towards the community house.

Looking at the oldest building on the SMP, he reminisced the days when the Dream Team had begun construction on it, laughing and chasing eachother around the property, Dream trying to break up the fights that Sapnap and George tended to have. 

**_Then Dream ruined it._ **

Quackity gazed at the newly rebuilt L'manburg, recalling a time when there was nothing but a ~~drug~~ hotdog van in the land, two brothers with larger than life fantasies scheming inside of the vehicle.

_**Then Dream ruined it.** _

Quackity walked along the wooden pathways stretching throughout the Greater SMP and L'manburg, smiling fondly at the memory chasing Tommy around it, laughing along with him as he attempted to gather materials for his latest cobblestone monument.

**_Then Dream ruined it._ **

_'But if you're condemning Dream for all these things, then what does that make you?'_

Quackity stopped walking.

_'Your ledger is far from clean. You've blown things up, you've aided in exiling people, you've taken lives. What does that make you?'_

Quackity cursed under his breath.

What does that make him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Dream felt like he was suffocating. Everyone hated him. They hated him. Quackity didn't even mention the others that came to get therapy, too. What horrible ~~yet still true~~ things did they say about him? What exactly did they have to face, every day, all because of him?_

_The whispers were screeching inside of his head, buzzing with screams and shrieks of something he'd considered many times before._

**_'THEY DON'T WANT YOU HERE'_ **

**_'THEY HATE YOU'_ **

**_'YOU'VE RUINED THEIR LIVES'_ **

**_'JUST LEAVE'_ **

**_'JUST LEAVE'_ **

**_'JUST LEAVE'_ **

_Dream's hands began to shake, and his heart pounded inside of his chest. He was too late. They hated him they hated him t **hey all hated him-**_

_Hastily, Dream got up from the chair and rushed towards the door._

_"Uh-uh t-thank- thank y-you for- for yo-your t-time. Have a nice d-day."_

_Then, Dream scrambled out of the house, hot tears streaming down his cheeks behind the porcelain of his mask; unaware of the satisfied smirk Quackity had plastered onto his face._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quackity clenched his fists and glared at the ground, an echo of the question still swirling around in his head.

_What does that make you?_

_'Makes me still a better person than that green bastard, is what.'_

Quackity said that to himself with finality. He wouldn't be manipulated by Dream's schemes, not again. He wouldn't bend to his will over some piece of paper and a flower crown.

He yanked the crown from his head, clutching it in his hands before harshly crushing it, twigs snapping in two and delicate petals getting ripped apart.

~~_Quackity shoved down the thoughts screaming at him to stop, to see that Dream was still a person, a person with feelings and problems and emotions, a person who made mistakes; just like him._ ~~

Quackity wouldn't forgive that easily. He would _never_ forget what Dream did to him, to his friends.

He'd make sure that Dream never forgot, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'm not trying to make Quackity the bad guy. He's not the 'villain' in this story. It's just that with all the people Dream apologized to, they all had a positive history with him. They all had mostly positive memories and they knew that he was dealing with his own crap as well, so it was easier to let him back in their dynamics.
> 
> Quackity(at least I'm this story) doesn't have that. He didn't know Dream in childhood and was left out of his..."episodes". So, Quackity's view of Dream was very neutral, only knowing him at first as a relatively ok guy. When he got all evil and manipulative, Quackity's view of him drastically shifted. Not knowing about any of Dream's past, he jumped to conclusions. But still, you can see that there's a part of him that knows there's more at play here, trying to get Quackity to see that as well. For now though, he still doesn't like Dream.
> 
> Throughout this story, Quackity is going to have an internal battle with what he knows Dream as and what a small, desperate part of him is trying to get him to understand. 
> 
> (does this even make sense-)


	11. Leisure • Plotting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream stops at the village for the evening.
> 
> Everyone is informed of the situation, and they immediately try to come up with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER SIMPS-
> 
> just wanted to say that seeing people comment and speculate on this fanfic is so amazing and heartwarming for me. I love all of you so fricken much-♡

_Dream gazed at the newly founded "country" of L'manburg early one morning, axe gripped firmly in his hand._

_Recently, his eye had been killing him and the screeches and static that sounded akin to endermen began to form into what he assumed were supposed to be words._

_'y **0 ~~u~~** r ~~**€**~~ ~~g0~~ _~~_**N**_~~ **n** _A ** ~~h~~** U **~~r~~**_ T ~~ _ **t**_~~ _h ~~ **e**~~ **~~M~~ '**_

_' ~~ **t**~~_ h ~~ ** _I_**~~ _s ** ~~₩~~** **į** L l_ **T _ ~~€~~_ _a ~~ř~~_** _t_ **e** _m_ ** ~~A~~** ** _p_** ~~a~~ ~~_**ŕ**_~~ **Ţ'**

**' _¥_** 0 ~~_**un**_~~ _ ~~€~~_ _e ** ~~D~~**_ **t** ~~ _⁰_~~ L ~~_**Ə**_~~ _v ~~ **ə'**~~_

_As always, Dream ignored them. He had to prepare for battle, specifically the first fight on the SMP that utilized weaponry. He didn't want to fight the residents of L'manburg, no; he just needed to set a few boundaries. When the SMP was created, the admin intended for it's inhabitants to be as carefree and relaxed as possible. However, there still needed to be a couple of rules... just for his family's safety. No matter what Dream did, he always kept the wellbeing of all his friends as his top priority. He just wanted them to be together, as a whole._

_And that being said..._

_It hurt a little, finding out that Wilbur and Tommy had seemingly founded an entire nation of their own overnight; claiming that this was where they'd be happy, where lasting bonds would form._

~~_Dream didn't understand. What was wrong with the nation he already had in place? What was wrong with the bonds everyone had now? Was his work not good enough for them? Was h **e n** **ot good enough for them?**_ ~~

_The young leader paid no mind to their newfound passion in this little "country" they were building. He paid no mind to the whispers that grew ever louder in his head._

_This was just a one-time thing. Just one of the many skirmishes that Wilbur and Tommy were prone to cause. Dream would fight, the others would realize there was no need to do this, they'd work out negotiations, and everything would go back to normal. He was sure of it._

~~_( **¥**_ _⁰_~~ ** _ ~~u~~ ř '_** _ə_ ~~₩ _ **ŕ**_~~ ⁰ _ ** ~~ņ~~ **__**~~ğ'~~**_ ~~ _)_~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream arrived at the gates to the village just as the sun was beginning to cast it's warm orange glow into the sky. He acknowledged the guard posted outside, who nodded back to him with a grunt. The locals in these types of places were a bit illiterate, only sometimes able to use broken English, but no one really minded. 

As the made his way towards the inn at the center of the village, Dream noted how everyone here seemed to know eachother, and they were very close-knit.

~~_(His heart ached with the familiarity of it, how similar it was to tight bonds that had once been formed at the SMP long ago.)_ ~~

Striding into the building, Dream payed the innkeeper with a smile before heading back outside to gather supplies for the road. He browsed in each of the shops and stands in the area, seeing what each one had to offer. The voices in his head, which he had decided to name Pollá, actually helped in picking out what to get.

**_('Make sure to get plenty of food for later. We don't want to waste time foraging. Don't buy any armor, it'll just slow you down. Maybe just settle on getting an axe, for defensive purposes, but don't engage unless you have to- you'll drain energy needed for traveling.')_ **

Dream agreed with their advice, and went to get some more bread and a few clusters of berries. It was when he passed a potion stand that Pollá spoke up again.

_**('Stop, get some invisibility potions as well.')** _

_'Why?'_

**_('So that you can escape faster if any "obstacles" find us.')_ **

_'Okay...'_

In all honesty, a part of Dream really wanted to be found, to be caught, to be told that he was forgiven and that his family still loved him. A small, _~~yearning~~_ selfish part of him wanted everyone to find him and bring him back, to wrap him up in their love and affection once more.

Pollá always shot those wishes down though, urging Dream to instead push towards his goal, which he was always grateful for. Pollá had become of great use in the days Dream had been gone, whether it be _~~plaguing his mind with images of his friends dragging him back to the SMP and locking him away so that he was too scared to even think about going back~~ _encouraging him to leave the past behind in favor of starting over, happier and more free than he's ever been, or _~~forcing Dream to cut himself in the name of "balance"~~_ keeping things equal by having him do some exercises; for fair purposes, of course.

_(Dream ignored the fact that while he slept, Pollá would always flood his mind with nightmare after nightmare, waking him up at ungodly hours and telling him to begin moving again. Dream reasoned that he at least got more sleep than he did in his old house.)_

Buying a fair amount of invisibility potions, some splash and some to drink _ **('You can never be too prepared')**_ , Dream headed back to the inn, where his overnight room was waiting for him.

He placed everything he bought into his inventory before taking a quick bath and changing into some sleepwear, trudging out to the small balcony just outside his room to gaze at the stars. Now would usually be the time when intrusive thoughts of doubt and second-guessing swarmed his head, but ever since he let Pollá have more control it hasn't been much of a problem. He was very, very grateful.

_(Dream simply overlooked it when Pollá shoved away those "intrusive thoughts" with a mind-numbing static, taking away his ability to think properly and forcing him to rely solely on the entity's guidance. Pollá scoffed at the part of Dream that was begging him to change his mind and run back home, where everyone would surely welcome him back with open arms. Dream scoffed with them- the_ **_End_ ** _was his home, not the SMP!)_

_...still,_ sometimes he couldn't help but ponder. Did anyone notice he was gone yet? Had Tommy seen his small note hidden in the papers, and taken off running to tell the others? Had Techno noticed something was off and immediately started investigating? 

Pollá was quick to shut down his train of thought.

**_('Even if they did notice, even if they did begin to look, they'll move on eventually. They'll stop one day, and see how much better things are now that you're gone. They'll thrive without you, and you'll heal without them. They will soon forget you, and you will in turn forget them. Trust me, it is better this way. You have me now.')_ **

Dream let a hopeful smile form onto his lips. He finally had a friend that he couldn't hurt, one that would be able to control him and his often erradic behavior. It felt nice, being given the chance to start over. The speedrunner huffed out a small laugh.

_'Maybe I've been taking you for granted, Pollá.'_

**_('I know you have, child. I_ ** _**know.')** _

Dream stared up at the darkening sky for a little bit longer before retreating back into his room to prepare for the long road ahead of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Dream had mourned for days after Drista fell off the cliff. He wept and he wept and he wept, screaming out to the heavens and demanding an answer as to why fate had been so cruel to him. Of course, no one answered. His throat had become raw from all the crying he had been doing, making it painful to talk or even swallow._

_Sleep never came to Dream as he made the long and quite lonely trip back to his ~~and Drista's~~ small settlement, and when it did he was always awoken by the sound of his own anguished screams. _

_On the second night of traveling back to the main SMP, Dream felt a sensation in his head akin to a whisper._

**_'. ~~ıc~~_** ~~Å~~ ~~_ņ_~~ **h** _ ~~ə~~_ ~~_l_~~ ** ~~p~~** , _¥ ** ~~⁰~~**_ ~~_**ų'**_~~

_It sounded similar to a gentle humming of static, and soothed his aching and shattered heart. Comfort, any type of comfort, was something he greatly wanted to have right now. His friends wouldn't start arriving for another week, and he had wanted to surprise them with new houses so Dream was completely and utterly alone ~~(well, he was supposed to have Drista with him **-** )~~. He wondered how things had gone south so fast. He wondered why the universe was so intent on ruining his life. _

_The warrior swore to himself that he wouldn't let his family, the only people he has left, get ripped away from him. He wouldn't allow it._

**~~_(Isn't it funny how his family did not get ripped away from him, and instead he ripped himself away from his family?)_ ~~ **

_The admin felt exhausted from sobbing for so long, his limbs heavy and his eyes bloodshot. It felt like there was a pile of stone on top of him, trying to cause him to crumble under it's weight. The strangely relaxing noises in his head didn't help in trying to stay awake._

_Dream felt his eyes droop as the world began to swim around him, his knees buckling under the weight of gravity as the distorted whispers in his mind lulled him to sleep._

'ř ~~Ə **§**~~ ~~ _ť_~~ **ņ ~~⁰~~** **~~_₩_~~ _~~,ç~~_** _h_ ~~ **ı**~~ l _ **đ ~~.~~**_ ~~t~~ _h ~~ **ı**~~ _~~§ ** _İ_**~~ ~~$ **j**~~ ~~ _ů_~~ **§** ť ** _ ~~ț~~_** ** ~~H~~** _**ə**_ ** ~~b~~ ə _~~ğI~~_** ~~n~~ _~~**ņ**~~_ ~~ **ı**~~ _ņ ~~ **ğ.'**~~_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After calming down from his little meltdown, Techno approached the people who had come to help him find Dream.

Tommy, of course. Ghostbur, Tubbo, Punz, Sam, George, Bad, Sapnap, Puffy, Phil- Quackity.

It came as a surprise that Quackity was here. Techno surely thought that out of all the people in the SMP, he'd be the one jumping for absolute _joy_ at the mention of Dream disappearing. It was... strange, to say the least.

He was just about to inform them of the situation when another person walked into the room. Techno turned his head to the sound of footsteps, seeing Ranboo shuffle in with a nervous expression on his face.

"I, uh... is this where I'm supposed to be?" Tommy nodded in response, while Techno's gaze lingered on him before speaking.

"Depends, did Dream visit or apologize to you?"

"Well, I think so...?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Dream's hand shook at he stared at the parchment in his lap. He didn't even know where to begin._

**_('Just write something quick. Don't make it too sappy or overly dramatic, child. I'm being generous by even letting you write a note to him.')_ **

_Dream swallowed hard before writing the first few words. Something quick._

_It killed him to have just left with a small note, but Dream didn't think Ranboo was overly fond of the writings that he usually got from him. He remembers happy things while working on the note, hoping that the energy of joy in his head would somehow seep into the paper. It was a bit silly, sure, but it helped a little._

_Dream remembered when he first met Ranboo. He hadn't been on the server for too long and spent most of his time goofing off with either Tommy or Tubbo, but had seemed interested in Dream's skills._

_The older prompted to take the enderman hybrid under his mentorship, training him in combat and teaching him about using your resources to your advantage. Ranboo seemed to soak up all the teachings and advice given to him, excited whenever he learned something new. It made Dream's chest feel warm, his heart swelling with pride whenever Ranboo used the things he learned from him._

_(What happened? When did it all go wrong?)_

~~_(When did a mentor/mentee relationship turn into one of violence and manipulation? When did Dream begin to take advantage of the young hybrid?)_ ~~

_Shooing away these thoughts before they got too sour, Dream continued to scribble onto the apology note before holding it up to his face, examining it. This would have to do._

_Dream simply placed the note in a chest right next to where Ranboo's base was before slinking away into the night._

**_'I've broken you enough, Ranboo. Let your doubts and your worries leave you, you are finally free.'_ **

_**-Dream** _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Uh- yeah. You are in the right place."

Ranboo took the note back from Techno, stuffing it in his inventory. It was after this exchange Sapnap decided to speak up.

"So...what are we here for? I'm like, really confused right now.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Listen... Dream's gone."

Tommy cringed at the way Bad gasped, and how George's jaw dropped, but he was a bit scared when Sapnap clenched his fists so hard his palms where turning white.

"He's... _what?"_

Techno gritted his teeth, getting frustrated at the fact that they weren't taking in the information and immediately planning a way to handle this and instead looking at him like he had two heads or something.

"He's _**gone,**_ Sapnap. Get it through your skull, Dream **_ran away_** with no intent of coming back."

"How long has he been gone?!"

"I don't know. Me and Tommy just learned that he was even leaving when we found some more handwriting in his original apology note. Tommy, how long has it been since you were allowed to come back to L'manburg?"

Said brit shrunk slightly when all eyes seemingly turned to him before straightening his posture and answering:

"About three days."

George put his hands to his face while Bad let a single tear escape from his eyes. Puffy was rigid as a statue, the only evidence that she was still breathing being the very quick breaths escaping her mouth. Punz kept his gaze to the floor, face hardened as Sam put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Phil just shook his head.

"So Dream's been gone for three days. That is more than enough time to completely leave the SMP. He's probably in the wilderness now." Sam stated, feeling lost. 

"Why didn't- why didn't anybody go check on him?"

George's voice shook as he spoke, remembering the broken and frantic Dream he had witnessed at the community house. His cries that begged for forgiveness never left the brit's mind, haunting him at night. How could they have been so stupid?! Of course there was something wrong, something Dream wasn't telling them, but no one noticed.

"Why did no one, _no one,_ think to even see if Dream was ok? It he looked and acted the way did when he came to visit us, then surely one of you would've noticed that something was wrong... right?"

Everyone opened their mouths before shutting them again. George had a point. Sure, they told him that they forgave him, but it obviously wasn't enough. Almost everyone knew of the horrible mindset that Dream often had, the monsters of his own creation that roamed around inside his head. They knew that Dream had never fully opened up to anyone, as sad as that truth was. There always seemed to be a wall between him and his friends, keeping the warrior from finding the courage to truly rely on them.

"Well, in my defense, I _did_ go to visit him earlier today, but he wasn't home and that was how I go suspicious in the first place, sooo-"

Phil swiftly elbowed Techno in the stomach, effectively shutting him up. 

"That doesn't matter right now. What _matters, Techno,_ is seeing if we can find any information on where Dream may be headed."

Techno perked up at that. He had an idea of where Dream might go, even if he was just passing through.

"I remember Dream asking me about the nether a few months ago, maybe he's headed there first?" 

Puffy's eyes widened. "The nether! Why would he ever need to go there?!" She was reasonably scared, as a mother would. She worried what he might do to himself while there, not having her to convince him to stop it or Techno there to calm him down. The thought of Dream being alone in the nether with nothing but his thoughts terrified her. When the others realized this, they soon became worried as well.

Bad was sniffling, to which Sapnap and George hugged him for comfort. He felt ashamed that he didn't ask Dream how he had been doing, that he didn't talk to him about what he'd been going through more. 

Punz's stare was blank as he glared at the floor, feeling like he failed Dream. He hadn't noticed how the younger's mood got sadder when Punz and Sam had taken him to Punz's base to have dinner, as if he knew something was going to happen afterwards. 

Phil wished that he'd asked Dream to stay longer when he visited, to talk to him more, instead of just letting him run away into the forest. Phil always told himself that he needed to be there for his children. _All of them._

Techno couldn't think clearly. His brain felt muddled with worry for Dream and rage at himself for not being there for the speedrunner. Chat, who was usually chill and didn't take things seriously, was very aggressive at the moment.

**_'FIND DREAM'_ **

**_'FIND HIM'_ **

**_'WHO HURT DRE?'_ **

**_'PROTECT DREAM'_ **

**_'BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD'_ **

**_'FIND HIM, CATCH HIM'_ **

**_'ERADICATE WHAT'S HURTING HIM'_ **

**_'FIND DREAM'_ **

**_'_ ** **_F I N D D R E A M -'_ **

"Well, what's the plan?" Tommy questioned, anxious to get going as soon as possible. He didn't want Dream to be away from them any longer than he should. 

Technoblade snapped out of his thoughts and directed his gaze to his brother, the question lingering in his head. 

"Ok, I think we should handle it like this; we split up into two groups. One goes out to search for Dream, the other stays at the SMP to see if they can find anything that'll help find him faster. Sound good?"

Everyone nodded in agreement, satisfied with the proposition. But, who was gonna stay behind? All of them wanted to find Dream, to tackle him and call him an idiot for thinking that he meant nothing to them and then wrap him up in as much love as humanly possible. But to make that happen quicker, some had to stay behind and search for information that will be useful to them.

Puffy let out a sigh before speaking up.

"I'll be one of the ones who stay behind."

Punz looked at Sam with pleading eyes, asking a question that the older already knew without him even saying it. 

"I'll stay behind with Puffy, and Punz can go search." 

Punz visibly lit up at that before scurrying to stand next to Techno.

"U-uh, what are you doing?"

"Getting into position. I assumed that you'd be one of the ones going to look by default, seeing as you were the first to get suspicious and you're pretty protective of Dream."

"...okay that's a fair point."

Bad and Ghostbur, who had been quiet throughout the meeting, spoke up at about the same time.

"I'll stay to do research."

They looked at eachother for a second before smiling slightly and going to stand beside Puffy. Ghostbur then added,

"In fact, I think me staying here is actually a lot better. This way if it rains, you guys won't have to stop and find shelter for longer and you can keep trying to find Dream.

Techno nodded in agreement to that statement, and as much as he loved his other brother he really wasn't very fond of the idea of stopping more than he needed to.

Tommy very quickly ran to stand beside Techno and pulled Tubbo along with him, which earned the two a raised eyebrow from the piglin hybrid.

"Listen, me and Tubs are going with you guys to search, and that's _final."_ Tubbo bobbed his head up and down at that, a determined look etched into his features. 

"I'm coming too."

Techno flicked his gaze to Quackity, who had an unreadable expression on his face. He was immediately skeptical of him coming with the group that was searching, as he knew that Quackity didn't like Dream ~~_at all_~~ all that much. But something told him that trying to get the other to just stay in the SMP was pointless and a waste of time. Quackity could be very stubborn, after all.

"...Okay, fine." ~~ _ **'But I'm keeping an eye on you-'**_~~

Quackity gave Techno a curt nod before shuffling next to him. It was odd that the shorter actually wanted to contribute to finding their lost friend, and Techno wasn't gonna just overlook that. He'd make sure that Quackity didn't try anything while they were away.

Phil gave Techno one look, and he already knew that the older man was coming as well.

"I-I'm gonna come, too."

The endermen hybrid wanted to know. He wanted an answer as to why Dream had left after seemingly getting his whole life back together. It just didn't add up in his head. There was something else, something more complicated than just pure stupidity. There _had_ to be.

Ranboo fidgeted slightly under Techno's piercing gaze ~~ _(Punz was right, this man **was** protective **-** )_~~ before scurrying to stand next to Tommy, who gave him a nudge on the shoulder that seemed to convey the sentiment of _'We're gonna find him, whatever it takes.'_

And honestly, Ranboo believed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pollá means "many" in Greek(*cough* accordingtogoogletranslate😳*cough*), and I thought of this one because of how there are multiple things that make up the entity inside of Dream's head.
> 
> I got the idea to use Greek from Skycastle, who suggested a name in Greek two chapters back. "many" came from a commenter who asked why I refer to the dragon that has been manipulating Dream as 'the voices'. 
> 
> Thank you to all the people who left suggestions! I loved seeing all of them👌


	12. Raid • Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> retired flordian psychopath has a breakdown in front of dead rhino while arsonist cowboy gets into a fistfight with enraged pig in cosplay, more at 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I've been listening to Roadtrip on repeat for hours but like it came on my spotify playlist at a random point in school and it was my first time hearing it so Dream's voice REALLY caught me off guard and i just,,, f(HYUCK)ing doubled over on the floor and started squealing but my friend was sitting right next to me and she just stared at me for a solid 10 seconds before asking if I was having a seizure–
> 
> anyway, here's your food

_George let out an anguished cry as he stared wide-eyed at the iron sword lodged into his torso, blood quickly spreading around his baby blue sweater and splattering onto the hard ground. Dream stumbled back slightly as his small body began to shake, eyes filled with terror. How did this happen?_

_Dream had been on edge for days in the wake of Drista taking a small roadtrip. He had asked her repeatedly if she was sure that she didn't want him to come with her, to which she answered: "this is gonna be a super-amazing, super exciting, super SOLO adventure starring Drista -" and proceeded to skip away to go pack. When Dream told Drista to make sure that she wasn't going to be seen, she responded with an unimpressed glare, as if scolding him for even thinking that she'd forget such a thing._

_Dream wanted his sister to experience freedom and independence, he really did... but he just couldn't help the worry that crawled into his mind when he thought about all the scenarios that could happen while she was traveling, all the memories that threatened to flood into his brain._

_And so, with much hesitation, Dream had let Drista say a quick goodbye to him before departing, leaving a very nervous big brother behind._

_"What's going on he- GEORGE!!"_

_A loud gasp echoed through the cool spring air, bringing Dream back to the present. He looked up from where George had slumped to the floor to see Sapnap with a look of horror on his face, rushing over to his barely conscious friend and cradling his head in his lap._

_"Hey, hey- stay with me bud. I'm gonna help you, you're gonna be ok..."_

_Sapnap's eyes flicked over to where Dream's trembling form was, unshed tears threatening to spill from his wide, glassy eyes. His gaze hardened into a glare._

_"Dream, wHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT!? YOU- YOU COULD'VE KILLED HIM -"_

_The boy flinched violently at Sapnap's loud yell, terrified emeralds locking eyes with fiery auburn. The tears that were previously pooling in his eyes were now flowing freely as Dream stared at George's writhing form, Sapnap doing his best to shush him as he let out pained whimpers. There was a puddle of blood beneath both boys, staining the grass and flowers with a sticky crimson hue. It reminded him of-_

**~~_The sky was painted red as the distant screams and cries of people echoed in his ears. Bodies, unmoving and lifeless, surrounded him as he clutched an unconscious toddler in his arms. The air was hot and fiery, burning his small hands. A soft, desperate voice called out to him amongst the chaos._ ~~ **

**~~_"Clay, Clay listen to me. You need to get out of here."_ ~~ **

**~~_What? No, no he couldn't do that! How would-_ ~~ **

**~~_"B-but what about y-you??"_ ~~ **

**~~_"I'll be fine, I- I promise. I need you to take Drista and leave. Run, and whatever you do, don't look back. Can- can you do that for me, Clay?"_ ~~ **

**~~_"O-ok... I can."_ ~~ **

_A choked sob ripped through Dream's throat as more tears flew rapidly down his face. Upon hearing his broken cry, Sapnap's glare softened, his eyes taking on a look of concern. Before he could ask any questions, however, Dream turned tail and started running the opposite direction, ignoring his friend's pleas to stop._

_He ran as fast as his legs would carry him through the thick forest, thorns cutting his thin arms and twigs scraping his pale face. Memories of blood and shrieks of terror flashed through his head, images of dead friends and family made his world spin. Dream finally stopped running as his legs gave out under him and he crashed into the ground, chest tight and heaving as his vision became blurred with tears. He let a scream of anguish rip through his body, not unlike the one George had let out only minutes ~~(or was it hours?)~~ before. He panted and gasped for air as he felt himself be crushed by the weight of all the recollections zipping through his head. A silent scream, begging for the memories to stop (stop **stop it's too much it's all too much-)** knocked the air out of his lungs._

_Dream's hands flew to his bronze hair as he tugged and pulled on it, curling himself into a shaking ball of sobs. Through the ringing in his ears, he Dream could barely hear the snap of a twig and light footsteps coming in his direction. He tensed before hearing a shout of surprise._

_"Oh Notch- Clay?!?"_

_Dream relaxed substantially at the sound of Drista's voice, letting himself go limp as the blacked out on the cold forest floor._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun was just peeking it's light out from the horizon when Dream was startled awake, not by any of his nightmares surprisingly. 

The sound of an alarm bell rang through the misty air as the sounds of dozens of feet pattering on the ground outside of his balcony made Dream more alert, the admin bolting upright and rushing to the balcony to see what all the commotion was about.

Faintly, he could hear other footsteps as well. These were heavier-sounding, causing the ground to vibrate under their weight. Dream knew of only one overworld animal that could be heard approaching from long distances away. Those footsteps were ravagers.

There was a raid coming.

**_('We need to get out NOW, child,")_** Pollá supplied, sending Dream's mind into a frenzy. _**('this raid is gonna slow us down and we need to go as quickly as possible.')**_

Dream hesitated. Should he really leave all these people to fend for themselves...?

**_('It's not worth it. Saving these helpless fools will only be a waste of time and resources, and we're not taking much already.')_ **

_'Please, Pollá. Just this once, ok? These people gave me a place to stay and food to eat, they were kind and hospitable to me... I can't just abandon them...!'_

**_('Fine. Just this once. But you'll regret helping them.')_ **

Dream had no clue what that meant, but now was not the time to dwell on it. He grabbed the diamond axe that he bought and rushed outside, picking up a crossbow along the way. 

There where a few guards outside already, getting into formation to try and protect their village. They carried themselves differently, however. As if they knew that they would most likely fail, and die trying to keep the ravagers and pillagers at bay. It was pretty sad to look at.

So, Dream took stance at the very front of the battlefield and earned a few confused and alarmed grunts, which he could understand as the guards telling him to get back inside the gates of the village. Dream just waved them off with a reassuring smile, and they hesitantly let him stay. Their concern caused a warm feeling to settle into his chest, making him feel cared about and significant.

_**('If these people knew what you had done to your "friends" at the SMP, they'd turn on you in an instant. They'd restrain you and give you over to the people you ran away from without hesitation, they'd trade you for riches in a heartbeat. Remember; I am the only one you can trust now.')** _

Dream's face fell at that, his eyes dulling slightly. Was Pollá right? Would these people give Dream up to his ~~_friends DREAM THEY'RE STILL YOUR FRIENDS-_~~ enemies if they knew all they things he had done?

...

.....

_'Of **co** u **r** s **e,'**_ he thought bitterly, **_'I_** _s **h** ou **l** dn' **t**_ _ **ha** v **e** ex **p** e **ct** e **d** o **t** h **e** r **wi** s **e.'**_

By this time, the thundering footsteps of ravagers was clear to all in the village, and Dream promptly got into a defensive position. It didn't matter that these people would probably turn on if if they ever learned of his past mistakes. It didn't matter that Dream was completely and utterly alone in the world, his only source of comfort being Pollá and sometimes Patches. What mattered was getting through this raid and to the End alive.

When the first set of pillagers came into view, Dream sprinted forward and shoved his axe directly into the stomach of one and jerked it back and forth, the pillager screeching loudly before falling on the ground, blood quickly spilling out of it's abdomen.

The other guards soon followed suite, encouraged by Dream's skill and prowess. The once empty, peaceful grassland became a warzone, bodies falling left and right and crimson staining the ground underneath their feet. There where dozens of dead pillagers surrounding Dream as he stabbed and slashed at anything that came within four feet of him. Blood was spewing everywhere and yet Dream didn't even seem to notice. His mind was blank as he focused only on the advancing battalion of pillagers, who where getting stabbed and shot at supernatural speeds.

This always happened when Dream fought, as he found it easy to subconsciously drown out the rest of the world and instead focus solely on the task at hand, whether it was for beating ~~Techno~~ so that he could rub it in the other's face or for taking on a mob of ~~_angry people, ones he used to call friends, that he had tortured for months without end; people ready to slaughter him without a second thought **-** _~~ monsters. The downside to this tactic was that more often than not, looking at the destruction Dream caused has a high chance of having a negative effect on him.

At one point, a ravager charged at Dream and he dodged just shy of the large tusks impaling his side, instead grazing his hip. A searing pain spiked through him as the ravager was immediately shot down, and only then did Dream finally snap out of his trance and survey the field. 

There was blood everywhere. Bodies, mostly of pillagers but there were definitely some guards too, littered the grass for hundreds of yards. 

Drram saw that some of their limbs were missing, the nub where an arm or leg once was having ripped and torn flesh dangling off the edges. Dream gagged when he accidentally stepped on something squishy and it turned out to be a singular eye, tissue and veins mangled as a sticky red liquid leaked out of it.

The screams of the civilians still hiding in the village echoed across the plains, ringing in his ears. Whoever the guards that died were had family that was waiting for their return, only for them to get killed in front of the whole village.

Dream felt his breathing quicken as he continued to survey the battlefield, unable to look away. It looked so similar to-

_**~~Red sky. Screams for help. A small, gurgled whisper in the midst of it all.~~**_

No.

~~**_The choked whimpers of a brunette boy in a blue sweater, struggling to stay alive on the grass._ ** ~~

_No._

~~**_A mangled lump of pastel pink, splattered with blood at the base of an oceanside cliff._ ** ~~ ~~~~

_'No, stop.'_

**~~_Two sets of eyes, wide with horror as cannons are positioned at their beloved nation._ ~~ **

_'No, nono-'_

~~**_A terrified boy going limp in an open box as a firework is shot at him, blood splattering all over a raised stage._ ** ~~

~~~~_'W- wait-!'_

_~~**Crazed chocolate eyes turning dull as a sword is reluctantly stabbed into a man's abdomen.** ~~ _

_'No, please-!'_

~~**_Blank aqua orbs staring longingly at the bubbling lava beneath his feet._ ** ~~

_'N-no, please s-stop, please s **top it- I- I can't- I can't-'**_

Dream's legs bucked under him as he fell to the ground, panting frantically as he gasped and sputtered for air. He clawed desperately at his arms as they trickled a thick red substance, his mind buzzing and numb with the memories of endless terror and pain on repeat in his head. The screeches and sneers of multiple voices were back, overloading Dream's mind and paralyzing his senses.

Over it all, one prominent snarl echoed through the chaos in the admin's head.

_**~~('I tøld~~ y ~~ou~~ you' ~~d~~ ~~re~~ g ~~r~~ e ~~t~~ ~~th~~ i ~~s~~.')** _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Sapnap stared in the direction Dream ran off to for a couple seconds before finally getting his bearings and calling for Bad to get over to help him. The moment he saw a black hood with brown strands peeking out, Sapnap gently laid George on the grass before bolting in the direction Dream ran, leaving a confused yet very concerned Bad behind._

_Thinking on it now, Sapnap decided that yelling at his obviously very scared friend might not have been the best idea. Sure, the first thing he saw was George bleeding out on the ground and writhing in pain, but he didn't really register Dream's trembling form nor did he register the fact that whatever happened was definitely an accident, as Dream was known to be very skittish from time to time. So yeah, not the best play on Sapnap's part._

_He maneuvered through the thorns and branches, careful not to cut himself up too badly while trying to pursue his scared friend and calling out to him from time to time. Sapnap knew that Dream didn't trust easily and when he did, it was easier to break it than it is to gain it. The ravenette never understood why, but he supposed it wasn't his place to impose._

_Sapnap was cut out of his thoughts when he heard a faint voice ahead of him._

_"...ome on, Clay.. I really don't wanna have to use-"_

_He slowed down his pace as he crouched behind some bushes, trying not to be seen. He couldn't see the person's face, but he could tell that it was a small girl in a pastel pink hoodie, trying to drag a dirty lump of green into the shadows of the forest. Sapnap was about to sneak up on her when he accidentally stepped on a twig, the loud 'crack' sound echoing through the air. The boy cringed at the way the small girl froze in her tracks, movement hitching at she let out a small grumble from under her breath. Before Sapnap even knew what was happening, the girl yanked an enderpearl ('how did she get an enderpearl'-) from her inventory and launched it far away from his position, teleporting her and the lump of green away in a swirl of purple particles._

_'...what.'_

_Groaning loudly, Sapnap was about to dart in the direction that the girl went to when a loud yell cut through the forest, stopping him in his tracks._

_"SAP!! COME ON, WE GOTTA GET BACK TO THE HOUSE!"_

_Sapnap slumped at the tone in Bad's voice, which he and the others had dubbed his 'mom voice', meaning the younger didn't get a choice in the matter. He let out a small huff of annoyance before turning around and trudging back to the clearing, where Bad was waiting for him with an unconscious George in his arms._

_He took one last longing glance at the thick underbrush before facing Bad's stone glare and following the older back to their cottage, head faced down as Bad scolded him for just running off without an explanation._

_Still, Sapnap had no idea who the girl was and he had never seen her in all his years living in this part of the realm. Also, what was she dragging? It looked suspiciously like a person, but he couldn't really tell. **(bro how dense can you get-)**_

_Strange..._

_"SAPNAP! COME ON AND HURRY BEFORE I PICK YOU UP, TOO!!"_

_The ravenette huffed loudly but still complied, jogging to catch up to Bad._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tommy, why do you wander off so much-"

"Shut up, I found a sus rock and it turned out to be a cave, how could I _not_ get curious?"

"Oh yeah; I totally forgot that you're like, twelve."

"Oh you little bit-"

Techno promptly elbowed his brother in the side, effectively shutting him up. He still stuck his tongue out at Sapnap, who rolled his eyes in response. The piglin hybrid casted an exasperated look at George, who mirrored him with a heavy sigh. Oh, the things that they had to put up with...

Tommy had seen a huge rock hill on the very edge of the forest and got curious as to why it was there, finding out that it was hollow and hiding a whole lagoon inside, complete with pretty vine flowers and green parrots.

While Sapnap and Tommy continued bickering, which resulted in a full-on wrestling match that had George trying to hold Sapnap back and Ranboo and Tubbo trying to wrangle Tommy in, Techno noticed something out of the corner of his eye. There was a small lake in the middle of the lagoon, an old, weathered bridge having been placed in between the shore and a small island in the center of the lake. What caught his attention, however, was the lone rock settled on the island, seeming to have some sort of carving in it.

Techno trudged over to it, looking at the fish occasionally as they zipped through the water, acting as the very essence of freedom and spirit. 

_'Something Dream used to be full of, once upon a time.'_

Techno's expression turned sour at that. Sour at the realization that Dream wasn't like that anymore. That he was instead alone and afraid, only a shell of who he once was. Sour at the fact that something was pulling his strings, separating him from his family ~~_(From Techno, from his warm embrace, from the security and safety of his arms, separating something that was his h **is his-)**_~~. It made the warrior's blood boil with worry and rage, bubbling over like a volcano on the verge of a violent eruption.

Making his way over to the rock, he read over the text on it before getting very confused and reading it again. And again. And again, and again.

_'Property of... Drista? Who's Drista? Aaaand.... Clay. What the- Yup, I'm really lost.'_

"What's that?"

Techno flinched a bit and turned his position slightly to glare at the person behind him, which happened to be a very sheepish looking Punz. 

"It's a rock."

"Well _duh._ I knew that much-"

Punz yelped as he got a swift bonk on the head, rubbing his aching skull tentatively as he pouted at Phil, who just pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hey... I remember one of those names."

All eyes flicked over to Sapnap, who had approached the rock and began examining the carving in it, eyeing one name in particular.

"Clay... I remember Dream accidentally hurt George in a Manhunt and I yelled at him," -He pointedly ignored the heated glare he got from Techno, this man was _scary,_ \- "so he ran off into the woods because he got scared. When I went to find him I stumbled upon a girl in a pink sweater who was dragging what looked like a body deeper into the forest, calling it by the name Clay. When I approached her I accidentally stepped on a twig and got her attention, to which she grabbed an enderpearl that she for some reason had in her possession and teleported away with the body."

"...and you didn't think that the body might, _might_ have been Dream, because of the fact that he's never told us his real name, and the fact that he ran off in that exact direction??"

"Well ok, but that doesn't explain-"

"The rock implies that Clay was Drista's sister. So I assume that this girl that you saw was most likely Drista, as that would make the most sense as to why she'd take the time to try and get him somewhere secluded. None of us knew where Dream lived most of his early life, as he always avoided the subject. Maybe something happened-"

"Something did happen."

The group turned to where Ranboo was staring at the edge of a cliff, face void of emotion. When everyone went over to see what he was staring at. They gasped. Sapnap felt himself get nauseous.

There, at the bottom of the cliff by the sea, was the mangled body of what they assumed was Drista, dried blood painting the stone below and flesh having rotted with time. Tubbo began shaking, to which Tommy and Ranboo instantly went over and wrapped him in a hug, letting the boy sob on their shoulders. The two didn't fair much better, Phil making his way over to try and comfort them.

Sapnap felt sick. Drista, Dream's supposed sister, had died falling off this cliff sometime in the past, no one even knowing except for Dream himself. It all made sense now, why when they first arrived at the SMP Dream hadn't been as excited as he was when he told them about it a couple weeks prior. Why Dream had seemed sadder and much more distant than before. He had to watch his sister f*cking _die._

Techno felt himself get mad. Mad at Sapnap for being so _clueless._ For not thinking on it hard enough, for not getting the gears to turn in his head until it was too late. He thought that if Sapnap hadn't just brushed off such obvious giveaways, that if he looked harder than he did, then maybe they could've found out sooner, that they could've worked things out with Dream sooner. _That ~~his~~ Dream would still **be** here._

~~(Techno seemed to forget that not everyone is as observant as him, that not everyone was trained to scrutinize and analyze each and every part of a situation, that not every plot twist is as obvious as he thinks it is.)~~

Quackity, who had hung back from the group to observe, noticed Techno's sudden shift in mood, and the way he glared at Sapnap with something akin to rage and annoyance. He smirked.

Trotting over to the ravenette, who had to look away from the cliff before he would vomit, Quackity subtly nudged him on the shoulder, which caused him to look up at the latino.

"Hey, Techno seems really annoyed with you... what did you do?"

"What are you talking about-"

Quackity jerked his head towards the agitated piglin hybrid, making Sapnap gaze in his direction. Sure enough, they locked eyes for a solid ten seconds before Sapnap bristled and got up abruptly, marching over to see what was making Techno mad.

"Ok, so I don't know what you're mad about, but don't take your anger out on _me,_ ok? I really don't want to wake up with a broken nose-"

"Well what if I _am_ mad atyou?"

Sapnap's gaze hardened.

"I- excuse me?"

"I said, _what if I'm mad at you?"_

"Why would you–"

"For Notch's sake, _Snapmap,_ you're so f*ckn' clueless, it's driving me insane! First, you can't wrap your head around the fact that Dream left and instead of just helping me come up with a plan to find him, you and several others just stare at me like caught deer. Then, you don't put together the puzzle pieces that are literally _right in front of you_ until right now, when this vital information could've been used _months ago._ When ~~my~~ Dream was _still here._ So yeah, I'm pretty sure I have some pretty good reasons as to why I'd be mad at you."

"Well I'm _sorry_ that I'm not a freakishly paranoid hybrid like _you,_ Techno. I'm sorry that I don't think that every small coincidence ties into some giant hidden ulterior motive, I'm sorry that you can't seem to chill for like, two seconds. Honestly, I'm surprised that you weren't one of the first ones to turn on him, you being so unnecessarily paranoid all the time and literally trusting almost _no one."_ Sapnap retorted, getting worked up over the fact that Techno was basically blaming him for Dream leaving. They _all_ unknowingly contributed to the buildup of his relentless doubts, although none of them would openly admit to that, yet Sapnap felt it was unfair that Techno didn't address his own faults in handling the whole situation, whether that was intentional or not.

"Guys, please don't start–" Tubbo began, but was cut off by Techno.

"You have no right to just assume things about the way I act nor do you have the right to say how that would affect my relationship with Dream. You don't know _anything_ about what I had to watch him go through, you have _no idea_ what we had dealt with _by ourselves, as children with no guidance or help."_

Phil shifted a little, this being noticed by Punz. While they didn't know eachother as well as other people did, Punz knew that Phil cared about his kids very much, and that he'd do anything for them. To hear that his sons apparently had to deal with their problems alone, implying that Phil hadn't been there for them. Punz could see the hurt look in the older man's eyes, and he felt himself get a bit mad at Techno. The piglin hybrid was acting as if Phil wasn't there when they had problems, as if he didn't care enough to help when all he had to do was _ask for it._

"Techno, you need to calm down–"

"Yet you still don't address Dream's growing mental issues for _four years,_ even after supposedly witnessing him deal with all of it."

"He shut all of us out and you know that!"

"And yet you made no real effort to get him to open up, even when he had been _in your house, on multiple occasions!"_

"AS IF YOU DID ANY BETTER! YOU BROKE OFF YOUR ENTIRE FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM AFTER ONE HEATED FIGHT!"

At this point, Techno's face was red with anger, and Sapnap almost looked like he had steam pouring out of his ears, knuckles white with how hard he had clenched them.

George yelled out in protest when Sapnap lunged at Techno, throwing a fist to his gut. The warrior let out a grunt in surprise before quickly recovering and punching the shorter in the jaw. 

Tommy and Phil both yelped and instantly rushed over, trying to keep a struggling Techno from getting any more physical. George and Quackity went over and tried to restrain Sapnap, who was swinging wildly and screaming at Techno with a challenging, fiery look in his eyes. 

"Guys, _please-_ all this fighting is getting us nowhere and the more we waste time blaming people the further away Dream gets! Just...just **STOP IT!!!"**

Everyone froze and turned to look at Tubbo, who had tears streaming down his cheeks and an angry expression on his face. Ever since Dream had left, the boy wished he noticed that something was wrong sooner. Wished that he could just rewind time and work things out so that it wouldn't end up this way. Now that Dream was gone and they had actually started looking, Tubbo had become determined to not fail Dream this time. He couldn't mess up, not again.

He'd make sure that no one else messed up, either.

"Now... I get that you're both mad that it seems like the other did nothing to try and prevent Dream running away, but you seem to forget that all of us did this to him, drove him into thinking that we don't care. We all neglected how Dream felt on the inside at some point these past few months, and there's no denying it. Blaming others for something we all contributed in doesn't help anything. Now, can we please just break this up and leave? We've wasted enough time just sitting here and getting nothing done."

With that, Tubbo walked back towards the entrance to the cove, Tommy following behind him. Sapnap let out a huff before stomping after him, George rolling his eyes and turning to follow him with Quackity. Techno growled and marched on ahead of everyone, exiting the cove with Phil trying to catch up to him. Punz just cast an apologetic glance at Ranboo before running to catch up with Sapnap, leaving the enderman hybrid alone. 

Ranboo let out a long sigh and started walking to catch up to the group when he felt a pain in the back of his skull.

~~_**'p** _ ~~ ~~**_.---l.,__ə_ ** ~~ **___ >.. ~~§ə~~....!___----,,;,'',_* ~~đø~~ __-*,__ ~~ņ^~~ __--_ ~~ť-!'~~_**

He stopped in his tracks as the pain increased, bits and pieces of a barely audible voice echoing through his mind, tearing at his ears like nails on a chalkboard.

~~**_'w_ ** ~~ **_..___——,-,...••○• ~~wā~~ ~~_____—ı••••...¤ț!____--—–,;;*p~~ ~~__ <><....——łƏ~~ ~~_-_-___å–—..○§~~ ____—-—--–—..•••°°.. ~~Ə~~ –!'_ **

Ranboo groaned and clutched his throbbing head, trying to rub the awful sensations out of it. The voice seemed to have a desperate tone to it, begging for... something. 

"Ey Ranboo, you good?"

He turned his head up to see Tommy with a concerned expression on his face, and at a distance behind him seeing the group looking on _expectantly(minus Techno and Sapnap, they were still glaring at eachother–),_ waiting for him at the entrance of the lagoon.

"Y- yeah, I'm good."

Ranboo gave Tommy a reassuring smile before standing upright and locking arms with him, letting the teen lead him back to the others.

~~_**('**_~~ ~~ _ **§–ş ţ⁰**_~~ **þ ~~-~~ _~~p~~_** _ ~~ł~~_ ~~æ~~ ** _ ~~ş~~_** **~~Ə~~** – ** ~~!' _)_~~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, remember that Ranboo is canonically an enderman hybrid...?
> 
> (also just a heads up: you're probably gonna hate me next chapter–*gets shot*)


	13. Floodgate • Split

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pollá shows just how much of a di€khead it can be while a teenager takes a trip down memory lane and a duck has an internal moral crisis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, I guess that Pollá's pronouns are She/them, as it fluctuates between the two 'cause sometimes it's the dragon talkin' and other times it's her and the endermen,,, cool? cool.

_It's host sat on the walls of a large castle, gazing at the setting sun. She had to admit, this little... SMP, that he had created, was pretty. They often found themselves admiring the gentle sway of the trees with him or the subtle ripples of the water as he rowed away from the annoying child's small island._

_The End city didn't have the blue skies or the green grass, so they'd all take in as much of the overworld as possible while their host was still there._

_That thought made them collectively giggle, the warbled sound echoing through their host's head. They loved messing around with his mind, playing with his emotions and muddling his values, as well as pulling **all** of his strings. _

_At first, she couldn't do much. 'Dream', as he liked to be called, still had a strong will and was always clear-headed, for the most part. They could only mess with him when his mind was unstable, emotions scrambled around in his brain and ready to be picked apart one by one. Her enjoyment never lasted long, as one of Host's stupid 'friends' would come to his rescue, clearing up his mind for the most part and chasing them away from his conscience._

_Then, something happened._

_Skirmishes between Host and his friends became more frequent, more **violent.** The harsh words and rough shoves that he took on later left him shattered and vulnerable, allowing them to creep into his mindset once more. Their whispers started off as soothing, giving off the impression of the gentle hum of static. Gradually, she could finally form words in his head, coaxing him to do actions and make decisions that aligned with their agenda. Under her influence, she caused Host to successfully destroy his land and rip apart his relationships, leaving him isolated and alone. It was almost too perfect._

_They'd taunt him with sneers and whispers that repeated over and over the reality that none of his friends cared about him anymore. At first he'd fight them, he'd mumble over and over to himself that they were wrong, that all the accusations were wrong, that they still cared about him deep down inside._

_But as his world was crumbling apart right before his very eyes, as his ~~enemies~~ friends drifted further and further away from him, cheery and energetic smiles being replaced with dulled eyes and hopeless glares, Host found himself unable to deny their screeches any longer._

_She delighted in the memory of when he finally cracked, when he made the decision to leave it all and go hide in the End alone. At first he just contemplated suicide, standing at the edge of the same cliff his **dear** sister had plummeted off years prior. They stopped him quickly, screeching at him and snarling out loud the fact that he didn't deserve a fate as sweet as death. He didn't deserve to feel the freedom he once had. _

_So they carefully nudged him to instead leave for the End, where he would be sure that no one could reach ~~them~~ him. He agreed on that fateful night, sobbing and crying in his lonely bed with memories and flashes of a life he'd never get back, bonds that were forever shattered, and by **~~her~~** his own hand. It was satisfying, watching him crumble under her control, finally allowed access to the darkest parts of his weak mind. She felt elated to be able to alter his very purpose of existence, to control the most powerful being on the server as if he were nothing more than a puppet suspended on thin, silken strings, at the sole mercy of the puppeteer._

_So now they enjoyed the wonderous majesty of the server that Host had toiled over with his own blood, sweat, and tears, more giggles reverberating through his conscience as they thought of the fleeting nature of it all. It was quite hilarious, how easy it was to fool such a sharp mind, how quickly she could warp his intentions to meet their own without anyone ever batting an eye at the drastic change. They knew they were doing the whole server a favor, they knew it. Host's 'friends' would know in due time._

_She was sure of it._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream smiled lazily as he set up camp for the evening, watching mindlessly as the stick in his hand sparked to life and was thrown onto the fire pit; small, delicate flames turning into a steady and warm blaze, wisps of bright velvety red and cozy tangerine dancing around gracefully inside the cocoon of heat.

However, the warmth of the fire did nothing to ease the bitter cold that nipped at his soul, numbing his senses and paralyzing his consciousness. 

It's been two weeks as of now. Two weeks of no human contact other than that fleeting visit to the village, which quickly turned into a sour memory in Dream's brain. Two weeks of no one to talk to except Pollá and sometimes Patches. Two weeks of journeying with little to no rest, his limbs always aching and his hands covered in cuts and blisters.

Two weeks of Pollá running rampant in his mind, playing with his emotions as if he were a simple cat toy.

Dream didn't mind that, though. Why would he? Why would he be mad at the one thing that's kept him _~~(scared, alone, isolated from the world and from his friends, an ever present voice of torment and belittlement, slowly tearing him apart from the inside)~~_ sane? Why would he ever get angry at the one thing that's been able to _~~(break him, rip him to pieces until he's only a husk, a shell of who he once was)~~_ get through his defenses? Why would he ever go against the one who showed him all the things he did, all the hurt he's caused, all the ways that he could never be accepted again? Why wouldn't Dream be forever grateful for Pollá, for their insight, for ~~_(shedding him of all confidence and self-love, leaving in it's place a spiraling void of guilt and self-loathing )_~~ making him realize that he needed correction? Why wouldn't be be happy that they've shown him that he needed _~~(love, reassurance that there's hope, that he can be redeemed, he c **an, that he DESERVES a second chance Dream dON'T LISTEN YOU DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE-)**~~_ punishment for all the awful things he's done?

That'd be ridiculous. Downright laughable.

...Right?

_Right._

Pollá just wants what's best for people who deserve what's best, which is his friends. Which _isn't_ him. Dream's fine with it though. Dream's fine with ~~_(a parasite who wants nothing more than his complete and utter destruction, running wild in his head, pushing him away from everyone who ever cared about him and filling his head with l **ies lies LIES-)**_~~ someone putting him in his place. Dream's fine with giving Pollá control if it means he won't hurt his family ** _('They're not your family, child. You don't deserve to be associated with them anymore. You don't deserve a family.') _**again. 

Dream's fine with it all.

...Right?

_'Right.'_

As he stares at the dancing flames, putting on a whole show just for him to enjoy, the admin faintly recalls the events of two days ago, when Pollá confronted him about a topic he'd been trying to avoid.

_Dream had been in the middle of a quick supply run, just picking as many berries as possible while in the thick spruce forest._

_While trying to relive the memory of a sunny afternoon with Tommy where the two blondes did a race to see who could pick the most berries by the end of the five minute time period that they set, Dream found that he had a hard time remembering Tommy's face. Discreetly, the admin slipped out a group photo of the whole SMP in front of the community house, goofy smiles plastered on all of their faces and postures all jittery and awkward from the energetic nature of them all. He quickly found Tommy, the teen captured in the scenery mid jump while using Dream's hood as balance, tugging it downwards and almost knocking the older's mask off of his face. He smiled fondly at the memory, recalling when after the photo was taken, he immediately whirled around and lunged at Tommy, who had taken off running and screeching as Dream chased him through the SMP._

**_('Child, why do you have that photo.')_ **

Dream's breath hitched at the memory of Pollá's abrupt and chilling tone, sharp and icy cold as it echoed through his head; condescending in every way imaginable.

_'I- I was having– I was having trouble remembering T-Tommy's face...'_

**_('If you ever hope to move on from the retched things you've done, you need to get rid of anything tying you to your past life. You need to eradicate all the things that could hold you back from doing what's best for your old friends. All of them.')_ **

_'B-but–'_

**_('Get rid of that photo. Nøw.')_ **

_'W-wait– please, can I just keep it for a little longer? Please? This- this is everything that I have left of- of my f-family–'_

**_('THEY ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS ONE OF THEM. IT IS TIME YOU WOKE UP FROM YOUR RIDICULOUS FANTASIES AND LOOKED AT YOURSELF AS WHAT YOU ARE. A MØNSTƏR. YOU'RE A MONSTER, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ÅNYŤHİNĢ BUT A MONSTER.')_ **

_Dream whimpered in pain as Pollá's screams echoed inside his head and cut through his confidence like butter. It felt as if his brain was being torn apart from the inside out, each screech of rage tearing into his pounding skull._

_He started crying as he realized that he had no choice but to destroy the photo, or else Pollá would torment him endlessly._

_With a heavy heart, Dream skittered over to a lava pit he'd seen a couple minutes back, hands shaking as he held the last piece he had of his friends and the last shred of what they used to be. He cried over the small, flimsy piece of paper he held near and dear to his broken and shattered heart._

**_('Just drop it. We have more important things to adress than some piece of paper.')_ **

_Dream let a sob rip through his throat as he dropped the photo, watching with swollen and tear-filled eyes as the parchment gracefully fluttered downward towards the bubbling lava before landing face up in the hot liquid and immediately getting engulfed in flames. It terrified him, realizing that in a few short days he'd have an extremely hard time remembering what half of the SMP members looked like. Pollá didn't see any problems with this._

**_('It's going to be easier to let go now. You will forget them in due time, and you'll learn to find satisfaction in your life, without them.')_ **

_Dream numbly bobbed his head to that, showing he understood._

**_('Now, we have a... behavioural issue that I'd like to adress.')_ **

Dream began shaking at the memory of the tense silence that followed Pollá's statement, the sick feeling of foreboding that settled in his gut when the entity didn't elaborate on what this 'behavioural issue' was. He remembers getting terrified at what the other might do to him, millions of possible scenarios racing through his head.

None of them had been... _pleasant._

**_('You hesitate to listen to my instruction. You question and question and beg and beg for me to bend to your will. You seem to forget who's in control here.')_ **

_With that, a loud screeching sound, similar to nails on a chalkboard, rang through Dream's head like he was stuck inside a megaphone. Knees buckling, Dream fell to the grass and dug his nails into his arms, desperate for something to get rid of the pain. He felt something dribbling down the side of his head and touched it, finding a shiny crimson liquid spread across his trembling fingers._

**_('As punishment for defying me, I will go dormant in your mind for one hour and will not answer to you, no matter how much you scream or plead. I hope this helps you learn your lesson.')_ **

_For a moment, there was silence. At first Dream thought that the punishment wouldn't be that bad, seeing as he'd have his mind all to himself for an hour. For a moment, he thought that'd he'd finally get a second of peace._

_Oh how wrong he was._

_It started as a scraping sound in the back of his head, gradually turning into a grinding of steel against steel, the horrid sound ringing in his already bleeding ears. Then, a rush of whispers and voices came flooding in, gradually getting louder and louder until it was all he could hear. The admin clutched his head as the whispers and screeches spiraled in his mind, some so close to forming understandable words that Dream could almost figure out what they were saying, only to be replaced by more static and more grinding screams. Sneers and laughter tormented him as they mocked him from the confines of his head, pounding and hitting against his skull over and over until he was sure that there was bruising. Dream couldn't see, his vision dotted with black spots and white hot light flashing around in front of his eyes, causing the world to spin. Dream couldn't feel, his hands becoming numb and tingly as he fell to his face under his own weight, limbs unable to support him any longer. Dream couldn't hear as he begged and cried and screamed for the whispers and laughter and mockery and static to stop, he wanted it to stops **top stop please don't leave me, don't leave me alone again you're all I have PLEASE–**_

_Dream sobbed and sobbed until his throat was raw and his chest tight with emotion. He screamed and cried for someone, **anyone,** to hear him. To hear his pleas for help and to rush over to rub soothing circles on his back, to tell him in gentle murmurs that everything was alright, that he wasn't alone anymore, that he could go **~~home~~**_ _and be safe and held and **loved** again._

_But no such thing came, as he was forced to suffer those long, horrific sixty minutes completely and utterly **alone.**_

Dream felt tears cascading down his cheeks as his breathing became irregular, the memory slowly fading from the forefront of his mind. The fire did nothing to warm him up as he sat on the cold, hard ground, the events playing inside his head over and over like a broken vinyl record. That was two days ago. That was just a minor hiccup in an otherwise successful week. Pollá was just keeping him in check, is all.

...Right?

_('Maybe not,' a small part of him squeaked. The tiny seed of doubt was immediately squashed by a wave of numbness, Dream's limbs falling to his sides. No. Pollá is right, Pollá's always right.)_

_Right._

**_~~(Dream chose to ignore how he woke up the next day screaming as he panted and gasped for breath, another nightmare replaying in his tormented brain. However, this time, Dream couldn't see anyone's faces. They all had been smudged in blackness, features obscured and faces blank, leaving him unsettled as he couldn't seem to remember what any of them looked like, or who any of them were.)~~ _ **

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Tommy let out a groan of frustration as he swerved in and out of the oncoming birch trees. The howls and snarls of the approaching pack of angry wolves was the only reason he didn't dare to stop and catch his breath._ _As he almost tripped over a root sticking out of the ground, the eleven-year-old boy distantly recalled the events that led up to his current predicament._

_Tommy had snuck out of the house late that evening, determined to get his own materials to craft a beautiful iron sword so that he could start sparring with Dream and Techno. They had always told him that he wasn't ready –which the younger always scoffed at– but if he could craft his own sword, then they'd allow him to train with them. There was a problem with this, however. Tommy wasn't allowed to go into the mines or caves to search, so he'd have to stay on the surface and hope that he got lucky. This method proved unfruitful after many days of going out to search and always coming back with nothing. So, he got the **brilliant** idea to sneak out of the house and search the caves at night, when his father and brothers were asleep._

_(He had to mind Techno, though. That kid almost **never** slept for a full six hours.)_

_While coming up with a brused arm from the third cave that had nothing in it, Tommy got very frustrated and in his fit of anger had thrown a big chunk of rock into the nearby bushes, which let out a pained howl. The boy froze at the sound, eyes locked onto the bush that had started making rustling noises._

_After a few seconds, a pair of almost glowing eyes stared back at him, and Tommy gulped as a paw stepped out from under the bushes, the wolf it belonged to letting out a low, threatening growl._

_'Ah, fock.'_

_As it turns out, there was a whole pack there, and the wolf he accidentally hit was the leader. Great. Wonderful._

_As soon as multiple growls joined that one, making a chorus of bared teeth and snarls, Tommy finally got his bearings and bolted away, feet pounding on the grass below as the sounds of howling and barking followed him through the night. He twisted and turned and did zigzags around the birch forest, maneuvering so well that he thought that Dream would definitely be proud if his '1000 IQ plays', before taking a misstep and tumbling to the ground; hands instinctively shooting out in front of him and getting scraped on the dirt as he tried to break his fall._

_Tommy let out a yelp of pain as his knees grinded against the rocks in the soil, no doubt acquiring some very nasty cuts in the process, and winced as he tried to get back up only to crash to the ground once more._

_'Oh for Notch's sake– I screwed up my ankle...'_

_A howl cut through Tommy's thoughts, making his head whip over to the direction that it came from._

_'...what impeccable timing.'_

_As the boy lay there, injured and dirtied, probably about to get eaten by a pack of angry wolves, he simply admitted aloud all the things he'd messed with that week._

_"Wilbur, I'm sorry that I smashed your guitar, I just wanted to see how sturdy it was when faced with an anvil. Phil, I'm sorry that I used your bucket hat to make mud pies, in my defense it was a great mold. Techno, I'm sorry that I burned your Art of War book to start up the fireplace, I didn't know it was important to you and it was really cold that night. Dream, I'm sorry that I used your hoodie to clean the sheep poo off my shoes, it was just really gross–"_

_"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DID THAT?!?"_

_Tommy flinched as Dream appeared from behind him, fists clenched as he marched up to the surprised boy. The younger just let out a nervous chuckle, obviously not expecting anyone to hear him._

_"Dreeeeeam, ey big man...! What's– what's uuuuuup....??"_

_Dream just gave him an unimpressed glare as he kneeled down and gripped Tommy's ankle, to which he let out a small hiss of pain._

_"Don't 'wHaT'S uP' me. We are definitely going to have a serious conversation about this later. But right now, what are you doing out in the woods alone?"_

_"Well, you see–"_

_Another howl pierced the chilly air, the sounds of multiple feet pattering across the forest getting closer and closer._

_"Iwentouttofindacavetogetironandmakemyownswordsoicouldsparwithyouguysbutididn'tfindanythingsoigotmadandthrewarockbutithitawolfontheheadandnowthewholepackismadatme."_

_"I- come again??"_

_Tommy threw his head back an let out a long, exasperated groan, to which Dream just rolled his eyes. This kid is so dramatic–_

_"Sneak. Cave. Mining. Empty. Mad. Rock. Wolf. Chase."_

_"Ohhhhh, ok. I get it."_

_Tommy facepalmed while Dream just shrugged. They both tensed when the pattering of footsteps came closer, Dream setting his hands firmly on Tommy's shoulders._

_"Can you walk?" A shake of the head._

_"Frick."_

_"Pussy, just say fu-"_

_Dream elbowed Tommy, putting a finger to the other's lips that conveyed the message 'shut up'. He obliged._

_The younger boy was just about to start whispering about how much easier it would've been if he and Techno had just let him spar with them when Dream noticed a pair of eyes hidden in the shadows behind Tommy, crouched and ready to tear him to shreds._

_"Tommy, look oUT–!"_

_Dream quickly switched their positions just as the wolf jumped on top of them, his back getting clawed and bitten as he stared at Tommy's wide and fearful eyes with a grimace, teeth clenching with every rip and tear that dug into his skin._

_"DREAM WHAT THE F*CK!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!"_

_"P- protecting you."_

_With that, Dream hastily flung the younger over his shoulder, who let out a surprised yell as he bolted out from under the wolf's claws and sprinted through the birch forest back to the house, ignoring that uncomfortable feeling of blood oozing down his back and the sharp, white-hot pain that zipped through his hamstring every time he took another step._

_When he finally, finally got to the house, Dream faintly noticed that the light was on, meaning that the people inside realized Tommy had gone missing. He breathed out a sigh of relief as he mustered all the strength he had left to yell out into the night, hoping that they noticed his cry for help._

_As the front door swung open to reveal the horrified faces of Phil, Techno, and Wilbur, eyes wide as they took in Dream's injured state, the boy let out a labored huff as his knees buckled under Tommy's weight and he crashed to the ground, the three inside breaking from their collective stare as they rushed over to him, the words of panic and worry being left unheard by Dream as he finally let his exhaustion swallow him whole._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as the group got to the small village about halfway to the nether portal, Techno and Sapnap immediately parted ways. Techno disappeared into the forest to go chop firewood, most likely to let off steam, while Sapnap left with the story that they needed more coal, stomping off to the nearby mines.

Phil just rubbed his temples exasperatedly while George threw his head back and let out a dramatic sigh, turning from the rest of the group and informing them that he'd be turning in for the evening before lazily making his way over to the inn. 

Tommy let Tubbo explore around a little while he chose his room for the night, determined to get a good room while he could. After greeting the innkeeper with a dopey smile and searching for a good ten minutes, Tommy found the room that he wanted to stay in. It looked pretty cozy, and had two twin beds. One for him, one for Tubbo. He then went to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face, looked tiredly at the reflective glass. He had bags small rips and tears in his favorite white and red T-shirt, as well as bags under his tired, aqua eyes.

His reflection reminded him of the day after he was attacked by the pack of wolves, reminded him of how disheveled he had looked after waking up that morning. 

It was bizarre to him, how Dream just threw himself between him and the wolf without hesitation. He couldn't understand why he would shove himself into the face of danger without batting an eye. Tommy saw no second thoughts or regret in Dream's eyes when he stared up at him as his back was being torn to shreds, no shock or terror. He was just in pain, and seemed determined to endure it for as long as he needed to.

That day, Tommy remembered realizing that him and his family possibly meant much more to Dream than a simple friendship. Maybe they were something more. Maybe....

Maybe they had been family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Tommy let a yawn escape his throat as the woke up in his soft, warm bed, mind foggy as he tried to recall what he did last night._

_When he swung his legs over the side of the bed, however, a sharp stabbing sensation zipped through his left ankle, up to his calf. That was when it all came back to him._

_'Oh. I got chased by wolves last night. And- and then Dream appeared out of nowhere and–'_

_Dream._

_'Oh Notch, what happened after? Why can't I remember? Is Dream ok??'_

_Tommy winced as he thought back to the blood staining Dream's back and the large gash in his right hamstring, oozing a disgusting amount of red liquid. He must've been tired from staying out so late, as he couldn't remember what happened after Dream got back to the house, the moments between when he yelled for help and when he toppled onto the grass swirling together in his head._

_Hastily, Tommy got off of his bed and limped out of his room, looking down the hallway towards the stairs that led to the living room. He scrambled over to the stairs and gripped the railing hard as he clenched his teeth from the sharp tingling of his hurt ankle._

_He hobbled downstairs and peeked into the living room, where he saw Dream's figure breathing steadily, a gentle rise and fall of the chest other than the occasional shudder. He relaxed upon seeing the older's calm position and was about to scurry back to his room when he heard a quiet, sleepy voice cut through the tranquil silence._

_"Whaddya doin'?"_

_Tommy flinched slightly, not expecting Dream to have woken up. He trotted over to the couch and faced Dream, who was staring at him with droopy eyes and a lazy smile on his face._

_"Making sure that you didn't f*ckin' die from your wounds last night."_

_He glanced over Dream's figure and grimaced. His hoodie had been taken off and in it's place were stained bandages wrapped tightly around his chest and torso. His right leg had been wrapped, too, all the way down to his knee. Now that he got a better look at him, Tommy realized that he got a large scratch on his neck and had dozens of blisters and cuts on his feet._

_'...he didn't even have shoes on?'_

_Tommy put his head to his hands. Why, why,_ _**why**_ _did Dream have such little sense of self-preservation? Why did he just use himself as a human shield without even thinking about the consequences? Why did he even find him?_

_"Dream, what were you thinking?! Why would you do something as utterly_ _**stupid** _ _as just throwing yourself in front of a FOCKING wolf??"_

_"You were in trouble and couldn't walk. I needed to protect you–"_

_"You_ _**needed** _ _to stop and use your head for five seconds! The wolf could've killed you!!"_

_"It could've killed you, too!"_

_"Well that's my problem! I was the idiot who snuck out at night anyways–!!"_

_...Wait, Dream was also out there when he stumbled and fell. Dream found him from a direction opposite of where he came from, and looked surprised to see him. Dream didn't follow him, because he wasn't spending the night at the house. Dream had been wandering alone, in the woods, with little to no weapons or armor, BAREFOOT, for who knows how long until he stumbled upon Tommy and his predicament. Tommy had a reason(albeit a stupid one) for going outside at night, so what was Dream's reason?_

_"Dream... why were you even outside last night? With no weapons or armor?"_

_Dream had visibly tensed at the question, wincing as his chest tightened painfully. He turned his head away from Tommy's so he wouldn't have to look into his eyes._

_"...no reason."_

_"Bull, there has to be **some** reason as to why you found me because I know for a fact that you didn't expect to see me at all."_

_"Listen, I-"_

_~~**(Dream and Drista had gotten into an argument. Drista got injured after defending him from some skeletons, and Drean wasn't pleased. He yelled at her for doing something like that, and Drista fired back with the argument that he does stuff like that all the time. He said that it didn't matter, that it was his job to be the protector, not hers. Drista shouted that if it was his job to protect, then he was doing a terrible job, as there's a fine line between protecting others and just being reckless. Dream got mad, very mad. He told her that she was being ungrateful for all the things he sacrificed to keep her safe, that she didn't understand. Drista screamed that she was supposed to carry some of the burden, too; that Dream wasn't supposed to carry all the weight by himself. He wouldn't listen, and tended to Drista's wounds before stomping away into the woods to be alone, ignoring Drista's shouts for him to come back.)** ~~ _

_"...It's **nothing."**_

_Tommy was about to press, to insist that it wasn't nothing, when he heard two sets of footsteps clambering down the stairwell and looked up to see Techno and Wilbur, both of which had a bedhead and bags under their eyes. Techno looked slightly annoyed._

_"Tommy, please stop harassin' my friend and let him sleep, he needs time to rest an' recover–"_

_"Also you're gonna pay for wrecking my guitar."_

_Tommy's head whipped over to Dream's, a look of betrayal written on his face. Dream was laying back down again, but one of his eyes was barely cracked open and his lips were turned up in a small, almost unnoticeable smirk._

_'Oh you little shi-'_

_Wilbur jumped on top of him before he could finish his thought, knocking both of them off the couch and wrestling Tommy to the ground. Techno yelped as Dream slipped off, falling to the floor on his back and letting out a pained wheeze. He turned to glare at Wilbur and Tommy, who paused mid fight and both let out nervous chuckles. Techno pointed a finger to the kitchen, silently ordering the younger two to go elsewhere. They obliged, slinking off into the dining room before resuming their wrestling match._

_After Wilbur seemed satisfied with the disheveled state of his brother, he walked off to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast, Techno following after him. Tommy glanced over to Dream's spot on the couch, where he'd fallen back asleep. He felt guilt curl in his gut as he looked upon the red that was still bleeding through Dream's bandages, how he was hunched in on himself in a way that made him seem so small._

_'What were you thinking last night..."_

_He soon heard a yell from the kitchen, telling him to come and help. Tommy rolled his eyes and took one last glance at Dream before making his way to the kitchen._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quackity held his head in his hands as he stared at the night sky from one of the village watchtowers, legs dangling carelessly from his seat on the edge.

He didn't know what to think. Joining the search for Dream, everyone seemed so... earnest. So determined. As if they'd do anything and everything in their power to get Dream back. He just couldn't explain it.

Dream was evil.

Dream hurt all of them, over and over again. Every argument, every fight, every war, was all because of him.

_~~But was it really?~~ _

Yes, of course. Quackity wasn't blind. He saw the seeds of doubt that were planted into each and every SMP member, lying dormant until the time when Dream needed a source of conflict. He saw these seeds spring up into sprouts of bitterness and hatred, infecting everyone who lived there.

~~_And yet, you deny the fact that you've done the very same things. You've sowed the same seeds, felt satisfaction when the same bitterness and hatred sprang up at the desired time. Was everything really Dream's fault?_ ~~

...Yes, of course. No one ever wanted to do any harm in all the silly schemes and plots they had. Tommy and Wilbur just wanted a nation to call their own. Tubbo just wanted peace for everyone. Ranboo just wanted to live life without being pulled and pushed like a marionette. 

Quackity just wanted his friends to be happy.

~~_So why, did you do nothing when Schlatt exiled Wilbur and Tommy? Why did you run against them in the election, if you knew that they only had good intentions? Why did you pin all the blame on Dream when he only acted after they'd forced his hand? Did everyone really only have good intentions?_ ~~

... _Yes..._ of course. Just when it seemed like everything was fine, just when everyone hoped that maybe, maybe, things would begin to get better, L'manburg was destroyed. Wilbur was killed by his own father. All their hard work, was wasted. And at the center of it all, was Dream. Tommy was soon exiled, Ranboo became scared and apprehensive, not truly putting his trust in anyone, and Dream disappeared to his base with no consequence or drawback whatsoever. He came out of the carnage scot free. He didn't suffer anything.

~~_So why, when you went to kill him one night, you heard crying and gasping from deep inside the house? Why then, did Dream take the time and effort to fix everything he'd broken, even when you claim that he didn't want to nor did he have a reason to? Did Dream really come out of the wreckage scot-free? Did he really not suffer any consequences?_ ~~

...

.....

.....Yes, of- of course. This was all part of his plan. To tell everyone how sorry he was, only to disappear and get everyone all worked up over the fact that he's gone. He's manipulating them, just like he always has. He's using this as a trap to lure the group away from L'manburg, where he can snuff them out one by one. He might trap them in the nether while he goes back to L'manburg and decides to finish the job, to make sure that they never recover again. To force them to come crawling back to him on their hands and knees, for _them_ to be the ones begging for forgiveness, for a second chance. Quackity's seen it time and time again. He won't fall for it, not this time. The others may be manipulated, they may have fallen for Dream's illusions and trickery, but he won't. _He won't._

~~_So why then, are you split in two? Why do you tell yourself over and over that Dream is the problem of the server, when you hesitate to believe it each time? Is he really the bad guy here?_ ~~

'Yes– yes, of co-course.'

With _~~hesitation~~_ finality, Quackity swung his legs back onto the watchtower and made his way back to the inn, where everyone had already settled in for the night. Even Sapnap and Techno had gone in, albeit still pissed at eachother. As he walked through the quiet streets and stared up at the stars twinkling in the sky, Quackity let out a breath of frustration, his hands balling into fists.

Dream is the villain in this story, he's the great evil of the SMP. He's the dragon that must be slain, lest it destroy everything in it's path.

And Quackity's gonna be the one to slay it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone plz give Dream a hug then turn around and slap Quackity for me, kay?


	14. Wander • Discovery • Sentiments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nether pog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I speedran this crap, but eh whatever I'm tired and have been dealing with writer's block for the past week

_Dream scribbled on the piece of paper he had laid down on the floor, red pencil streaking and smearing across the page as he drew._

_Dream had stayed over at Phil's for the weekend after making sure Drista could take care of herself while he was away. After double checking and then triple checking to make sure that his sister had everything she needed – "Clay you're so paranoid, I'll be fINE" – Dream packed his stuff(which was really only his journal and an old blanket that he had) and headed off to Phil's house to spend time with his(not related by blood) family._

_After finishing his "masterpiece", Dream held it in front of his face proudly before running off to find Techno, as he thought that the older would enjoy what he drew. Dream found the thirteen year old piglin hybrid where he usually was when he wasn't hiding from Tommy and Wilbur's shenanigans; in the small clearing at the back of the house sparring with the surrounding trees._

_"Techno, Techno! Look look look– look what I drew!!"_

_Hearing Dream's excited shouts, Techno sheathed his sword and turned to see the twelve year old boy running at him with a big smile on his face, clutching a piece of paper in one of his gloved hands. The scene made his lips turn up slightly, chuckling under his breath at how childish ~~his~~ Dream was. He didn't know much about the younger's past, but he did know that Dream didn't have much of a childhood and what semblance of one he did have had been abruptly taken away from him. He recalled when he first met Dream, how hesitant and cautious he was, staring at him with tear-filled eyes that looked four times his age and and posture as stiff as a board. Now, looking at the kid who was running up to him shouting gleefully about a picture he drew, Techno almost didn't recognize him as the same scarred boy he met a year ago._

_"What is it, Dweamy?"_

_Dream huffed in embarrassment at the nickname and shoved Techno to the side a little, cheeks puffed up and a small blush forming on his face as his lips morphed into a pout. He hated when Techno called him that._

_"First of all, shut up, second of all, look at this!"_

_Dream happily yanked the paper out for Techno to see, eyes twinkling with accomplishment as he shoved it in the older's face. Techno was about to tell him that it was a good drawing until his breath caught in his throat as he stared at the pencil-streaked paper._

_It was a very accurate, **too accurate,** drawing of a nether fortress with a bastion in the background, lava bubbling below it as blazes and wither skeletons dotted the hallways he could see._

**_Dream shouldn't know what the nether looks like._ **

_It was no secret that Techno didn't like the nether, even if he grew up there for a long time. Heck, that might've even contributed to his hatred for it. It was unbearably hot most times, and the mobs there were just awful. Everything about the nether was ugly and red and forgettable._

**_So why does ~~his~~ Dream show interest in it?_ **

_There was only one thing that could possibly be worth a very uncomfortable and dangerous trip to the nether, and that was to get blaze rods. The rods were said to aid in making special potions, but the far more popular theory floating around the realms was that the rods were a key component in traveling to lands that no other magic could get to. Lands of darkness and danger, lands no one had any business messing with._

_Call him paranoid, but Techno knew what interest in the unknown could do to a person. Even something as innocent as a sketch of the fiery hellscape could morph into something much bigger. Something obsessive. Something dangerous._

_Techno knew that Dream was curious by nature, and as adorable as that was most times, it could also get the younger into trouble. He hated thinking about all the things that could happen to the boy while attempting to traverse the nether, all the ways Techno could fail to protect him._

**_'Dre could fall'_ **

**_'Lava go brrr'_ **

**_'Wither skeletons go b o n k'_ **

**_'Ghast? More like bLAST–'_ **

**_'Ha crispy Dream L'_ **

**_'Shut up'_ **

**_'Clumsy Dream pog'_ **

**_'EEEEEEE'_ **

**_'C r e a m'_ **

**_'Ew no'_ **

_Chat did not help ease his worries any._

_"So? Whaddya think?"_

_Techno was snapped out of his thoughts by the giddy voice of Dream, who was looking at him expectantly. He cringed inwardly at the way Dream's eyes lit up when Techno glanced back at him, waiting for his words of validation and praise._

_Honestly, it took a lot in the older to not just tear the paper up. It's not that it wasn't a great drawing, in fact it was very good for someone his age. It's just.... he didn't want Dream to get obsessed. He didn't want to go to the nether one day and find him sitting on the netherrack with his pencil, drawing away. Contrary to popular belief, the nether wasn't just a place of fire and materials and ancient relics. It was a place of savages. It was a place where kindness and hospitality might as well be forbidden. Every single creature in that dimension —including Techno at one point in time— strongly believed in the 'every man for himself' principle, only ever caring about what benefitted their own survival. It was just instinct._

_Dream wasn't like that. He was compassionate and caring and would do anything to protect someone in need, even if he gained nothing from it. He wouldn't last two days by himself in the nether, and that thought alone terrified the piglin hybrid._

_So, trying to keep his reaction as neutral as possible, Techno forced himself to let an easygoing smile onto his face, even though that was the farthest thing away from what he was actually feeling at the moment. He ruffled Dream's hair a bit, chuckling slightly at the way he pouted. This child..._

_"It's a really good drawing, bud. You're very talented."_

_Dream blushed shyly before mumbling a flustered 'thank you', as he was still getting used to being given compliments by people older and therefore 'wiser' than he._

_"But– well I don't mean to pry, but where did you get the reference for the drawing...?"_

_Dream tensed slightly, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. Techno raised an unamused eyebrow at that, catching on to the notion that maybe Dream did something he definitely wasn't supposed to when getting those references._

_"W-well... you see... heh, I might've– I might've borrowed a few of the books from your private study...?"_

_Techno's eyes narrowed as he folded his arms across his chest, obviously not pleased. A couple weeks after he first arrived, Technoblade had gone to Phil's library to take all of the(very few) books that touched on the topic of the nether. Not only was it unwise to have books like these around very impulsive and curious children(tOMMY), but most of them were incredibly exaggerated anyways. The books just rambled on and on about the rare materials that could be harvested and all the ancient relics there were to find, half of which Techno was 99% sure were just myths. The books rarely ever had actual information on important things like the natives or the environment of the nether, and even when it did they were always overshadowed by rumors of how the nether could be a gateway to realms unfathomable, tales of how one person could go in and come back out as the wealthiest man alive. It made Techno sick just looking at all the fabrications. So, to hear that Dream had taken these very same books and let all of the false knowledge settle into his head, it concerned him._

_"Look, you sorta kinda get uncomfortable whenever I ask you about the nether and I didn't wanna bother you so I just kinda borrowed the books without permission...? I understand that you're mad but I promise I put all of them back–"_

_"N-no, I'm.... Dream I'm not mad at you. You gotta understand that I took those books from the library for a reason, and most of them aren't even true. I don't want to get your head filled with all that junk, okay? I just want to protect you."_

_Dream nodded his head in understanding, a small frown of shame appearing on his lips. Dream didn't mean to cross any boundaries, he just didn't know. He was very glad that Techno wasn't mad at him and slightly embarrassed that he borrowed the books without even thinking about how the older would react. If Techno said that there was a reason those books about the nether weren't in Phil's library, Dream would respect that._

_"Ok... I understand."_

_"Good. Now...."_

_Techno placed an axe firmly into Dream's empty hands, a challenging smirk replacing the gentle smile he had on his lips moments ago. Dream's eyes widened before he mirrored Techno's expression, shining redstone meeting sharp emerald._

_"...since you're already here, why not brush up on some sparring?"_

_"Oh, you're on. Prepare to lose, Piggy!"_

_"Whatever you say, Dweamy."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After two more days of traveling, Dream finally arrived at the ruined portal, dulled green eyes brightening up at the sight of the netherrack-surrounded obsidian.

It took a few weeks of ~~_waking up over and over to the sounds of the shrill screams still ringing in his ears after all his nightmares_~~ waking up early to begin traveling again, and he did have to deal with a few ~~_panic attacks, instances where his mind was filled with nothing but static and shrieks of rage, so loud that soon he couldn't feel anything except the numbing buzz of thousands of sharp whispers_~~ mishaps, but overall... leaving the SMP definitely wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

_(Dream ignored the fact that he had no memories of what any of his former friends looked like. He ignored the fact that the longer he was alone, the number he became. It was better for him anyways, to not feel anything except the staticky hum of Pollá and their soft whispering, his thoughts muffled as if he had cotton stuffed in his ears. It was better for him to feel nothing, than to feel the unbearable pain of leaving behind the only family he had after he lost Drista.)_

Dream expected that when he stared at the nether portal, he'd feel something. He expected to feel intimidated by it, to almost cower under it's cold, stony gaze. He expected to have to have Pollá ~~_force_~~ coax him to go in, humming words of ~~_warning, threatening punishment if he hesitated to do what was told of him_~~ encouragement. But surprisingly, no such feelings came. He felt empty, staring at the obsidian that towered over him like a wall. As he crafted the precious flint and steel required to light the portal, that emptiness was replaced by a twisted feeling of satisfaction, a stinging pang of glee that he had actually made it this far with no interruptions. 

_(Of course, he ignored the part of him that was hurt by the realization that no one had found him, that more likely than not no one even cared that he was gone. Dream ignored the hurt that settled in his gut, he didn't have time to pity himself for being so alone.)_

Finally lighting the portal, Dream stepped back as the fire that crackled at the base flared upwards into the air, spiraling until the warm orange glow was replaced with a stark purple, similar to his eye _(he subconsciously ran a hand over the left side of his blindfold, where the nasty reminder of his past mistakes was)._ The silky smooth swirls of enchanted color eventually settled into each corner of the frame, particles spewing out of it every now and again and tickling Dream's face, as if inviting him in.

~~_(Waiting in anticipation for the newest victim to be swallowed up by the solid black frame, never to come out again.)_ ~~

Taking a deep breath, Dream stepped through the ominous portal, excitement flooding his brain. Sure, he'd seen the nether before, as Techno couldn't say no to his puppy eyes for long ~~ _('What does Techno look like again? Doesn't he have– doesn't he have... pink hair? Is he the one I cuddled with at night a lot–? Or, wait... that might've been Bad...')_~~ , but he didn't get far before the older had dragged him back near the old portal near the house where Phil used to live with his kids and pushed him through, claiming that if Dream were to ever get out of his sight that he'd probably never be found again. 

Getting over the initial nausea that came with going through a nether portal, Dream chuckled bitterly at his previous memory.

_('Hah, how ironic...')_

**_('Now's not the time to get all nostalgic. We have a reason for being here, you know.')_ **

Ah, right. The blaze rods. 

After letting his eyes adjust to the lighting change, Dream found that the portal had appeared hidden in a wall of netherrack, the angry red stone surrounding him on all sides.

_**('Perfect. Now you can cover up your tracks as you dig to the surface.')** _

Dream hummed in agreement, getting an iron pickaxe from his inventory and starting to hack away at the netherrack in front of him, watching numbly as flecks and chunks of the bumpy red stone flew off of the blocks and echoed mutely through the small tunnel. 

After mutch digging and placing ~~ _(Dream shoved down the tiny voice that begged for him to leave something, anything, any indication that he was there, just in case someone did decide to pursue him. He was past that false hope now)_~~ , Dream finally poked his head up out of the tunnel he had mined and examined the landscape around him. In front of him was a forest of warped trees and giant hog beasts grazing near the mushrooms growing together in clusters. A few enderman wandered about the forest, occasionally hitting their heads on the overhanging branches and leaves, which the admin found quite amusing. Piglins were scattered around the trees, grunting and snorting as they scavenged for food. His heart ached at the reminder of Technoblade, with his pink ~~ _(?)_~~ hair and muscular build, how those arms were both good at spilling the blood of his enemies and capable of being gentle with his friends, comforting and careful with his loved ones as if they'd fall apart if left unattended for too long. 

~~_(Dream shoved down the part of him that longed to be held in those arms, to be cradled welcomingly and told that his friends still loved him, that they didn't despise his entire being, that he could be apart of the family again. It was just foolish. Monsters don't get comfort, tyrants don't get second chances._~~ ~~_It was all foolish. Foolish, foolish, **foolish.)**_ ~~

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Dream crawled all the way out of his small tunnel and closed off the entrance, any trace of him being there having been completely wiped out. After countless hours of reading history books on the nether _(he felt a little bad when taking some of the books from Techno's study again, after promising him so long ago that he'd leave them alone. But now Techno had one l_ _ess person to fret about, so he supposes that taking the books was a good thing after all),_ Dream knew exactly what he was looking for. The fortresses described in his studies were tall, and made entirely out of nether bricks. They had wither skeletons _(notorious for the effects that their swords possess, causing one to slowly wither out of existence is they were to ever even graze the edge of it with any of their limbs)_ placed all around the halls, and blazes floating around them, spewing fire at any who dare come near. Overall, the nether fortresses seemed pretty intimidating.

Also, they were very, very rare.

Dream groaned silently at the reminder that it would probably take at least a day to find a nether fortress, and that was only if he were the luckiest person in the realm _(during the days when he'd play Manhunt with Sapnap, George, and Bad, it sometimes felt like he was the luckiest person in the realm, if he was being honest). _More realistically, it would probably take four days or more if he looked in all the right places. Dream may be a bit more scattered than usual, but he was still himself ~~ _(?)_~~. He could still find the fortress much faster than any normal person could, that was one thing he was sure of.

_**('This is good, putting yourself and your skills to good use. Don't you see? This is so much better than constantly having to be careful around others, constantly worrying that you'll mess up and hurt your friends again. You don't need to hold yourself, your true self, back anymore.')** _

_**('You're ~~f~~ ř ~~e e~~.')** _

Free? Was Dream free? Was this freedom? Was freedom the numbing hum of static in his head, constantly muffling his senses? Was freedom the ever-present fear that his former friends would find him and drag him back to the SMP to suffer the punishment for his crimes? Was freedom the feeling of emptiness that gnawed away at his insides, churning in his gut and souring the air around him? Was freedom a life isolated from everything and everyone, his only company being the whispers floating around inside his head?

~~_  
_~~

~~_Þølļå_~~ Dream thought so.

A weak nudge at his legs snapped Dream out of his thoughts, head whipping down to see what bumped into him. Right there at his feet, a baby hog gazed up at him with it's large, doe eyes. A little squeal erupted from it, and the hog head-butted Dream's leg again. Dream let out a breathy chuckle at the small creature's antics, a lopsided smile finding it's way onto his face. Reaching into his inventory, Dream pulled out a carrot and a small cluster of mushrooms to give the hungry boar and carefully bent down to let it sniff them. After some inspection, the small hog hesitantly took a mushroom and ate it, letting out a happy squeal before scarfing down the rest of the food in his palm. Dream slowly picked up the hog, and when it didn't show any discomfort he began walking again.

**_(...'What are you doing.')_ **

_'Pollá, can I please take her with me? Please?'_

Pollá went silent for a moment, as if pondering Dream's request. What he did not expect, however, was their answer.

_**('...I suppose we can take it. But do not waste all of your food on it, we did not bring much to begin with.')** _

Dream gaped before letting a bright smile stretch across his features, looking down fondly at the boar in his arms. He could finally bring another companion along!

_'Really? Yes! I can keep her! Now, what should I name you...'_

Dream held his arms out in front of him, bringing him face to face with the baby hog. She let out a confused snort, nudging his outstretched arms with her head cocked to the side. Dream let a _totally manly_ squeak slip from his mouth, awwing at the adorable boar. After a couple seconds of staring and squinting, scrutinizing her every move, Dream finally came up with a name for his new partner.

"I'm going to name you Hammy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Bad sighed as he got all the ingredients to prepare the group's dinner that evening, feeling quite worn out. For the past two weeks him, Ghostbur, Puffy, Niki, and Sam have been searching Dream's old cottage for any clues on the exact location he was planning on going to. So far, they had found piles and piles of books written in languages that not even he could decipher, and loads of journals with such rushed handwriting that he could only understand bits and pieces of a handful of entries._

~~_(They also stumbled upon loads upon loads of journals that had scratched out apologies on them, each book stocked with hundreds upon hundreds of apologies for only one person. Each SMP member seemed to have their own journal, where Dream would ramble on and on about how he was sorry and that he wishes he could start over. The journal meant for Bad left him with night terrors for days, his mind haunted by Dream's tear-stained cheeks that day he showed up at the community house, by the way he flinched whenever any of them made any sudden movements. Bad just wishes that he would've pressed more, wishes that he payed attention to the ominous feeling of foreboding that had settled into his gut.)_ ~~

_Puffy stood at the entrance to Dream's room, his old porcelain mask clutched tightly in her hand. She felt sick at the sight of red splatters on the floor, a small dagger left forgotten right next to the crimson splotches._

_The bed was in disarray, sheets thrown all about and pillows shaped around the center, as if acting as walls. Puffy winced at the reminder that Dream almost never slept completely alone when he was still on good terms with the SMP members. He'd let Techno spoon him whenever the older had bad nightmares about him dying, he let Tommy crawl under the sheets when the teen was feeling touch-starved, promising not to tell a soul even though pretty much everyone knew about it. He'd let Sapnap and George pile on top of him whenever the two were having a bad day. He'd let pretty much anyone cuddle with him, sometimes even all of them at once when they all spent the night at the community house. After... all of the recent events that had occurred over the past year, Dream got more distant. No one cuddled with him anymore and he moved into a house no one had dared go into before Techno barged in search of him. Dream was lonely, and not coping very well with it either._

_The walls were lined with scribbled journal entries and reminders of days long past. One paper in particular made Puffy gasp softly before letting tears begin to glow down her cheeks, eyes wide with anguish._

_**'Remember the time that ~~mama~~ Puffy loved me? Remember when she'd wrap me up in her warm arms ~~(it's so cold)~~ and promise me that she'd be with me every moment of my life? ** _

_**It seems like so long ago.** _

_**I don't mind that she broke her promise. I don't mind that she left. I ~~don't~~ understand. I'm an exception. I don't deserve to be given promises when I can't even keep my own** _ _**.** _

~~_**IfailedthemIfailedthemIfailedthemIfailedthemall** _ ~~

_**I don't blame her for deserting me. It was for the best ~~(right?)~~.** _

_Sam glared at the wooden floorboards, trying to find anything that seemed out of place. He'd already torn some of the wallpaper off, seeing if there were secrets hiding behind them, he'd already looked under all the rugs and even tore some of the ceiling off, which had earned a scolding from Bad. The demon had reprimanded that Dream worked hard on this cottage and wouldn't appreciate the fact that Sam was tearing up his house. Sam had gotten riled up and shot back with the reminder that Dream wasn't even planning on coming back to his house, that Dream had run away with no intention of ever seeing any of them again. After stomping away and cooling down a little, the creeper hybrid had realized the harshness of his words and apologized profusely to Bad, saying that he had been frustrated. Bad, being the sweet little muffin he was, accepted the apology without a second thought._

~~_He wondered if things would go as smoothly if– no, **when** Dream came back. Sam wondered if the admin would just think that they were lying to him, that it was too good to be true. Just the thought of the scenario made his gut twist._ ~~

_Sam had been adamant that Dream had to be hiding something, searching every nook and cranny of the cottage over and over again. Being a master of redstone, Sam was sure that there had to be some hidden contraption in Dream's unassuming cottage. That was the only logical explanation for such a simple design._

_~~When his efforts proved unfruitful, Sam felt himself getting desperate. The gnawing feeling of doubt and failure was slowly rising in his chest every passing day, and every time he searched and came up with nothing, Sam felt that feeling of hopelessness eat away at his resolve a little bit more.~~ _

_Ghostbur floated about the halls of Dream's house, admiring the craftsmanship of the walls and the cozy, homey theme of each room. It felt warm, inviting. Being a Ghost that was constantly at least a bit cold, it felt nice to feel the warm embrace of the small fireplace in the living room, or the cozy blankets that seemed abundant here._

~~_It was such a contrast to the cold, ruthless personality that almost everyone had told him Dream possessed at one point. He doesn't remember any of that, and every memory that he did have of the man were some of his best. He finds himself wondering if Dream had been just as unstable as Alivebur was, just as in need of help and love. Except, Dream never expressed such things. Ghostbur couldn't imagine bottling up emotions as strong as that, as damaging as that. He couldn't imagine what the weight that all that pent-up anguish must've done to him, how horrible he must've felt **all the time.**_ ~~

_Ghostbur wandered over to the large bookshelf that covered the entirety of the far wall. He pulled out a book and then dropped it abruptly, the hard cover making a dull 'thunk' sound as it hit the floor._

_There, just behind the bookshelf and right in front of him, was a wooden doorknob, only barely visible from his perspective. Ghostbur's milky eyes widened before he let an excited smile onto his pale features, lips turning upwards in anticipation and hands twitching._

_"SAM!! BAD!! PUFFY!!! I FOUND SOMETHING!!!"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno gazed uneasily at the daunting obsidian frame in front of him, it's swirling spirals of magic giving off a harsh, menacing glow. He hated the nether. _He hated it._ And now, here he was, leading his friends into the one place he promised himself they'd never have to traverse through.

Tommy was practically vibrating in excitement next to him, Tubbo not faring much better. Both teens had heard of rumors about what the nether had to offer and had caught glimpses of things in the distance when the roads were still in use, but neither had actually explored the whole thing. 

Phil scowled at the portal, silently cursing all the monsters and creatures that resided just inside. After finding Techno and seeing the effects it had on him as a young child, Phil began to grow bitter towards the nether and it's barbaric nature. He grew bitter towards the way it's children were brought up, the horrible conditions they had to live in. It disgusted him, especially after taking Technoblade in.

Quackity stared at the portal with empty eyes, devoid of emotion or feeling. There was no dread laced in his features, no subtle shudder or any indication that he was fearful. Quackity looked just as he had always been. Neutral.

_~~Even if he wasn't. Even if he'd fooled everyone into thinking he was indifferent, that he didn't care. Even if in reality, his mind was a warzone; two sides battling with eachother, fighting for prominence inside his head.~~ _

Ranboo felt another headache come on as that same awful scraping sound came back again, ringing inside his ears. This time, the words(?) said could be heard more clearly.

 ~~ _ **'ı**_~~ ~~**M _g⁰_**~~ ** ~~ı~~ _ņ_ ~~ğ _ţ_~~ _⁰n_ ~~å~~ _ ~~mə~~_ ~~y~~ _~~øų~~_ ~~ _hæ_~~ _~~mm~~ _~~ý! _'_~~**

Well, sort of.

George, Sapnap, and Punz all gave eachother nervous glances, thinking the same thing. When Dream was unstable, he had a tendency to be reckless and unaware of his environment. He always had his friends to ground him, to keep him from getting in serious danger and hurting himself. Now, _they_ were the reason he was unstable. _They_ were the reason he ran away, away from his family and away from the only people who kept him sane. It terrified all three of the men to think of what they might find when they see Dream, what state he might be in. It was something that had plagued their conscious for weeks on end.

Punz flinched a little when he felt a vibration along with a _'ping'_ sound in his inventory. Taking his communicator out, Punz read over the latest message and nudged George, who turned and read it as well. Sapnap looked over George's shoulder and let his mouth form an 'oh' expression at the message.

_**Sam:** _

_**We found something interesting. I'll keep you updated if we find anything else that could be of good use in the search.** _

"Guys, Sam, Bad, Puffy and Ghostbur found something, he says that he'll tell us if they get any info that'll be useful to us.

Techno went rigid, mind already racing with possibilities of what they might've found. Refocusing, he hesitantly turned away from the nether portal and faced the rest of the group _(Sapnap casted his eyes downwards)_ and took a deep breath before speaking in an authoritative tone.

"Ok, good. That's good. Now, before we go into the portal, I want to make something clear: we will not, I repeat, _we will not, under any circumstance,_ separate from the group. All of us must stay together, preferably where I can see you. Call me paranoid, but I will not be losing anyone in the nether. I get that it would probably be easier to split up but I'm not risking anything. When we're searching, we will be searching _together._ Understand?"

Sapnap had raised a finger up to make a snarky retort, but George swiftly drove his fist into the younger's gut, making him yelp out a silent swear under his breath. 

"We understand, Techno." George replied, sending a cold side glare towards Sapnap's hunched figure.

"Good. Now, follow me and don't wander anywhere until everyone has made it through the portal."

With that, Techno turned back around to face the obsidian frame and took a firm step in, disappearing in a swirl of purple particles.

Tommy immediately grabbed Tubbo by the arm and lunged in, popping out of existence along with his friend.

Phil grumbled under his breath and stood inside, letting the portal swallow him whole.

Quackity leisurely walked over and sat down, closing his eyes as the swirls of purple tickled his arms and engulfed him in a flash.

Ranboo stumbled over, clutching his head tightly and wincing before losing his footing and falling in, disappearing just before he smacked into the ground.

George gulped and gave Punz a wary look, who just mimicked his expression while Sapnap gave him a thumbs up. He took a deep breath and proceeded to step in, posture tight with anticipation before fading away.

Sapnap grabbed Punz's arm and gripped it tightly, looking at the other with anxious eyes. Punz gave him a soft, reassuring smile before linking arms with him and stepping forward, Sapnap following suite.

"Are you ready?"

Sapnap paused, an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes quickly darkened with an emotion Punz could recognize as determination. He was determine to get Dream back, determined to fix everything that had been destroyed between them. Punz could easily share the sentiment.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

He was ready. Ready to find Dream and bring him home, where he belonged. Ready to make sure that Dream knew just how much he truly meant to everyone in the SMP. Ready to make sure Dream knee just how much he truly meant to _him._ Ready to repair everything that had been lost and destroyed, to fix and fix and fix until everything was just like the way things used to be.

Punz squeezed his shoulder, a silent conveying of _'Me too'._ Sapnap let his lips turn up a little, happy to have someone who showed just as much passion and desire to find Dream and apologize as he did.

And together, the two men stepped into the obsidian frame and let themselves be swallowed by the nether portal's swirling, twisting entry way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> random lore dump gO—
> 
> ok so how things worked with getting stuff from the nether was that Techno would just get a list of things everyone needed and go get them himself, despite all of their protests. The nether roads were scarce and only used when anyone had a really, really good reason to. When the wars broke out, Techno destroyed the only portal to make sure no one would try to go in and get more resources or leverage.
> 
> Why?
> 
> Because this is my AU and I do what I w a n t


End file.
